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“You should have been honest with me.”
“Like that would have changed anything? Actually, maybe you would have done this sooner, knowing I’m clean.”
Guilt flashes through his eyes so briefly I’m not sure it was there in the first place. “It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s done now.” He keeps his head straight, staring into the dark corner of the room for a minute before he adds more quietly, “For what it’s worth, I am sorry.”
My first instinct is to tell him to fuck off. An apology is not good enough for something like this, but then I realize that apologizing is probably not something a man like Alaric does often, and somehow that fact makes his apology a little more potent.
That doesn't mean I forgive him. I don’t think I can.
Alaric holds me for another few minutes without saying anything, and I’m almost falling back asleep even though I try not to.
“You need to drink something, or you're going to be dehydrated.”
I roll my eyes at his words. Now he’s worried about my well-being? I want to tell him no, but my mouth is, in fact, parched, and now that he’s mentioned it, I can’t stop thinking about anything else. He reaches over to the nightstand and grabs a glass of something.
Only when he brings the cold liquid to my lips and the tart lemon flavor hits my tongue do I know it’s some kind of lemonade he is giving me. Greedily, I gulp the drink down until the glass is almost empty.
I feel a little better now but still weak. I don’t think I could stand on my own right now. Settling back into his hold, I wait until the drug runs through my system.
“So this is your kink,” I state.
“Yes, it is. Gets me hard fucking passed out girls,” he tells me. His brutal honesty shouldn't shock me after what I know he’s capable of, but it still does. He talks about it like it's the most normal thing in the world.
“Why?” I ask, genuinely curious.
“I don’t know. Why is anyone the way they are? I’ve just always had this fantasy, and when I got older, I started playing it out.”
“So I’m not the first one you’ve done this with?”
“No, you are not.” I don’t know why I care, but I do. Unwanted jealousy crawls up my spine, and I shove it away as much as I can. “Although the others were aware of what I was going to do. You were the first one I didn’t tell before, which somehow added to the appeal. You made me so fucking hard, Monroe. I never came so hard in my life.”
As fucked up as it is, pride blooms in my chest. I shove that into the same dark corner the jealousy ended up in and concentrate on how mad I am at him. “I’m sore… between my legs, I mean. It hurts.”
“I’ll give you some painkillers. I was definitely rougher than I should have been, but I didn't tear or bruise you. I checked. Of course I’m not a doctor, so if you want Dr. Houseman to come back, I can call him.”
“No! I’m fine.” The thought of him coming to give me another exam has my stomach in knots.
“All right then. Are you hungry?” At the mention of food, my stomach rumbles.
“Yes,” I admit. No sense in lying. I need to regain my strength if I want to get away from him.
“I’ll take you out to get something to eat. How does the diner on 6th Street sound?”
“You’ll take me somewhere?” I ask, perking up. Excitement blooms in my chest, but a wall of doubt is standing between me and the outside. I’m not going to believe anything he says this easily.
“Did you think I’m going to keep you locked up in my house?”
“Yes,” I tell him honestly.
“Well, I’m not, but you do have to follow certain rules while we are out.” Of course. “You have to stay at my side the whole time. If you try to run, I’ll chase you. Unless I’m in a bad mood and don’t feel like chasing you, then I’ll just shoot you.”
“Great… why don’t you just keep me drugged so I can’t run.”
“That’s a good idea actually,” he quips, calling my bluff. “Let me get it...” He moves me off his lap, and my heart leaps in my throat.
“No! I’ll listen. I won’t run,” I promise.
A triumphant smile spreads across his lips, and I feel the urge to slap it off his face.
“Do you think you can get up, or do you need some more time? I’ll help you either way.”
“I’ll try.” I probably still need his help, and though I hate relying on him, knowing that he at least will help gives me comfort.
He unswaddles me from the blanket, and I push myself up to sit, which makes me realize I’m still completely naked. My first thought is to cover up, but that would be useless. He’s already seen all of me… been inside me. The blanket falls away, and a shiver runs up my spine.
