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Roshni was perturbed that she had to depend on Deepak for everything. Deepak and Sheetal chatted happily in the family room while Sheetal looked into air tickets to Poona. Roshni was quiet and slowly walked towards the window in her bedroom and gazed outside, unseeingly, into the distance. The past memories of celebrating festivals with her babuji came to her, and with a heavy heart she leaned on the wall next to the window.
Deepak did not see Roshni around. He left his laptop on the sofa and walked to their room and noticed Roshni leaning on the wall near the window frame and gazing outside. He went closer to her and saw Roshni was in deep thought with her eyes closed. He gently put his hand on her shoulder and awakened her from her trance. Roshni wiped her tears and looked around.
“Roshni, what happened?”
“Hmmm, nothing.” She tried to walk past him when Deepak pulled her to him, grabbing her by the waist, and she bumped into his chest. Roshni leaned against his chest and gazed at him with confusion.
Deepak stared into her eyes, holding he
r. “Roshni, what is bothering you?”
“Nothing, please leave me. Let me go.”
“No, not until you tell me what’s bothering you.”
He pulled her closer to him and held her tightly across her waist, and she felt his warm breath near her neck and cheeks. She became nervous, and her breath was heavy while he enjoyed her beautiful fragrance.
“Deepak, everything is all right. Please let me go.”
“Then why are you sad?” Not waiting for her response, he lifted her in his arms, and Roshni was embarrassed.
“Deepak, please! What is all this? Please let me go. I am fine. It’s just…it’s just that…”
“Just what?” And looking into her eyes, he carried her to the bed and gave her time to sit comfortably. He settled next to her and held her right hand in his. “Roshni, please tell me what is bothering you?”
Roshni tried to avoid it, but he was so persistent, she had to give in. “It is a festive season, and I could not stop thinking of Babuji and the good old days we spent together, and now…and now everything fell apart. I am so lonely, and…and it is so dull. Look at me – with my accident, I can’t even go anywhere. I m-mean–” Tears trickled down her cheeks.
And she abruptly discontinued what she was saying and wiped her tears. She tried to pull herself away from him, but Deepak pulled her to his chest and gently rubbed her shoulder and back, leaning against her head.
“I can see the pain in your eyes, Roshni. You are not a very open person. You can talk to me when you’re ready, but know that it cripples me to see tears in your eyes. I know you don’t trust me yet. Is there anybody else you would like to talk to so you can open up? You’ll feel better.”
His comforting words were like a balm to her, and she buried her head in his chest and started to weep. Deepak let her cry. He consoled her by gently rubbing her shoulder. His eyes were glassy too. He was unable to bear the pain she was going through, and unfortunately, she would not confide in him…at least not yet! This one little act of hers gave Deepak some confidence that one day she would believe him.
She came back to her senses in a few minutes and wiped her eyes. “Deepak, I became weak for a moment. I could not contain myself. I’m sorry, but thank you for your support. I really appreciate this.”
Deepak let her free and assured her, “Roshni, any time, I am here for your support.”
In the meantime, Sheetal had peeped into the room, wondering if Roshni was all right, and witnessed the private moment between Deepak and Roshni. She walked away without disturbing them and got back to her work of looking for dates and tickets. She found a very reasonable deal and was excited and could not resist sharing this with Roshni.
Roshni was heartbroken because she would be celebrating these festivals without her babuji; however, when it came to others’ happiness, she was with them to celebrate their joy. Deepak noticed Sheetal and invited her into the room while Roshni slowly moved away from Deepak. Sheetal informed them of her ticket to Poona. Without a moment’s hesitation, Roshni looked at Deepak and asked him to drop Sheetal at the airport.
Later Roshni had milk and medicines, and Deepak helped her settle for the night. He kissed her good night on her forehead and came back to the family room and started scanning his e-mails. He was unable to focus; the memory of Roshni crying and missing her babuji came back to him. In spite of her own sadness, she remembered to ask him to drop Sheetal at the airport; he was so touched!
Deepak was learning more of Roshni’s personality. She was a woman of principles and educated, but was very loving and affectionate, cheerful, and bubbled with positive energy. She was simple but assertive and very mature, and he had ample proof. His own brothers were turned around; the entire environment in the house changed tremendously. She was a person who put others’ happiness before her own. How could one not see all these wonderful qualities in her and not fall in love with her. I must be an idiot, he thought.
However, for Roshni, she was brought up being cheerful and happy, and of course, she had good values. She was taught to bring something positive out of every negative; she was taught to have high self-esteem, confidence and self-respect, but all that she saw after marriage was bitterness, unhappiness, and humiliation, not only from Sashank and Akash but her own husband. Her beliefs and her righteousness were crushed to pieces and lay shattered in front of her on their wedding night.
However, she was determined to fulfill her promise to Babuji. She made sincere efforts, and her efforts paid off. Things had changed significantly around the house, but what about her feelings, her suffering and her pain? She appeared to be happy, but there was a lot of struggle that went on internally. She felt caught between a rock and a hard place. She’d made a decision to remain with Deepak’s family to fulfill the promise she’d made to Babuji, but in the bargain, she’d had to compromise her dignity and her self-respect. Was it worth it?
Several times the past came to her, and she was depressed. She wanted to run away and hide from all that went on, but she never did. She carried on only to see a smile on Babuji’s face, and now…he was gone. There was no succor for her.
She had a lot of hidden pain that she did not share with anybody. The first person she came close to sharing any pain with was Deepak himself, but could she forgive him? Was her ego obstructing her from seeing the love and affection Deepak was showering on her? Only time would tell!
Chapter 29
Deepak and Roshni Celebrate Dashera Together
Roshni’s second appointment went very well, with great improvement in her mobility. Her fractures were healing. During the appointment, Dr. Swaminathan said, “Roshni bete, good recovery, I am so pleased with the progress in your health. If this continues, you will be off the crutches in a few weeks.”
