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She looks so tired, and an urge to take care of her comes over me, but I stifle it. I don’t want to make the same mistake I made the other time by giving Cora hope that we can be anything more.
Chapter 9
Cora
These days, it has become harder and harder to rouse myself from sleep, especially today with Thomas’s warm hard body spooning me. The conversation we had in the night floats back to my mind.
Thomas must have loved his wife very much. A once in a lifetime love. Pangs of envy come over me as I imagine being loved like that. I muse over why some women are lucky to find that special love and some like me are not.
I now understand why Thomas panicked years ago when I asked him to have a baby with me. His heart belonged to his late wife, and that will never change. The thought hurts, but it’s better to know rather than harboring false hopes. I feel sorry for him now. He must have been in so much pain. Now that I think about it, many clues were staring me in the face, which I’d refused to see. His refusal to meet my family and friends. He always had an excuse. Then, no matter how many hints I gave, he never introduced me to his family. At the time, I thought he was the kind of person who needed to be completely sure before introducing a girl to his family.
I have an idea of what he went through because I was by Riley’s side when she lost her fiancé. She had almost gone mad with grief. Leaving California had probably saved her sanity, though, at the time, none of us had understood.
My stomach growls, and I gently pry Thomas’s hand away from my waist. I slip out of bed, quietly pulling on a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. I pad to the bathroom to freshen myself before heading to the kitchen, humming as I prepare the batter for pancakes. I can’t remember the last time I felt so cheerful in the morning. Thomas walks in just as I’m pouring myself a cup of coffee.
“Morning, babe.” The endearment falls easily from Thomas’s mouth.
A thrill goes through me, but I quickly scold myself. It means nothing to Thomas. It’s just a word, and besides, I’m an adult now, soon to be a mother. I’m beyond being thrilled by cheap endearments and amazing sex. Well, the latter does thrill me after three years of celibacy, but words are cheap.
Thomas cuts across the kitchen to kiss me on the cheek. His lips feel cool and fresh on my skin, and I wish he had directed that kiss to my mouth.
“Morning,” I say and pour another cup of coffee and carry both to the kitchen island.
“Thanks,” Thomas says as he takes his coffee and sips it.
I carry the pancakes to the table and invite Thomas to take one. We sit munching and drinking. It’s peaceful and not at all uncomfortable.
“That’s exactly what I needed,” Thomas says after finishing his second pancake.
I glance at the wall clock. It’s half-past seven, and he doesn’t seem to be in a rush. “Aren’t you going to be late?”
His mouth crinkles into a smile. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”
My face heats up as I remember the number of times I had more or less kicked him out of my apartment. “If I wanted you out, you would have known it.”
We both laugh.
“My first appointment is at nine-thirty,” Thomas says. He peers at me over the rim of his cup.
My stupid heart gallops in my chest. I ignore it.
“Have you settled on an obstetrician?” he says.
“I’m using the same one Riley does. Dr. Phillips. I have my first appointment with him today.”
“I’d like to come if it’s okay with you,” Thomas says quietly.
Something rises in my chest and stops in my throat. For a few seconds, I’m too choked up to speak. I nod and busy myself with sipping my coffee to hide my emotional reaction. That’s another thing that bothered me about getting pregnant through a sperm donor. Whenever I’ve thought about marriage in the past, I always fantasized about seeing the doctor with my husband or partner.
“I’d like that,” I finally say. My pregnancy is starting to feel real and exciting. Suddenly I’m not alone.
“We’re going to be parents,” Thomas says, his dark eyes gleaming, making him look sinfully sexy.
Warmth floods me at his use of the word ‘we.’ “We are.”
Silence fills the room, but it’s not uncomfortable silence. It’s the silence of two people who have known each other for a long time, which is weird because when I think back to what I actually know about Thomas, it’s very little. He is actually a bit of a mystery, and yet I feel comfortable with him. We were lovers for three months, and yet none of my family or friends met him.
