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“I shouldn’t have asked you to choose between your family and me. That wasn’t fair.”
“No it wasn’t, but I understand why you did, and you have a right to. The answer isn’t cut and dried, though, which is why I was waiting to talk to Bernie. I was trying to save us both some hurt.”
Van sighs and closes the space between us. He traces the edge of my jaw with his fingertip and then takes my hands in his. “I’m sorry I doubted you, Dillion. I know you have a lot going on, maybe more than I realized, and I should have come out and asked the questions, but my head was a mess. While I love Bee’s cottage, what I’m most worried about losing is you.”
His expression is a mix of worry and apology. As much as it hurt at the time, I can see where it all went wrong. “I can give you a pass on this one, but next time come out and ask me, and I promise if your brother ever tries to blackmail me again, I’ll let you know right away.”
“I’ll punch him in the nuts if he so much as looks at you the wrong way.” Van lifts my hand and kisses my knuckle. “I’m so sorry. I’m a lot to deal with.”
“Like I’m not.” I glance around the house. “And you’re nothing I can’t handle.” I tip my head back, meeting his warm gaze, and my breath catches.
He tips his chin down as the kettle starts to whistle. We both let out strained chuckles. Van brushes his lips against my temple and steps back so I can replace the kettle with the double boiler. I add milk to the second pot and stir while it heats, adding chocolate and whisking until it melts and turns a warm brown color. Van leans against the counter and watches me. I pour the steaming concoction into mugs, adding marshmallows and a dollop of whipped cream before I pass Van a mug.
We sit down at the table next to each other, and I glance over my shoulder to see if anyone is within earshot before I drop my voice and ask, “Can you tell me what happened?”
Van shrugs. “I don’t really know, but I went down to the dock to clear my head. Billy showed up and just stripped down and jumped right in. He was talking to himself, so at first I thought he wasn’t alone, but when I realized he was and that he was struggling, I rushed to help him. When I asked him what he was doing, he said he couldn’t shower in the house because it’s bugged and he’s being watched.”
“Bugged? He’s never been afraid of spiders before.”
“No. Not insect bugs, but like the way feds wire places in TV shows.”
“So he thinks the police are watching him? Why? Because of his DUI?”
“I don’t know. Maybe? He wasn’t making much sense.”
I rub the back of my neck. “This is worse than I thought. I think there’s more going on with him than just taking too many painkillers and drinking too much.”
“Do you think he’s gotten himself into more trouble? Like he has a drug problem?”
“No. Well, maybe he’s using the painkillers and the alcohol to self-medicate, but I have a feeling it’s mental health. My great-aunt always struggled with ups and downs, much the same way Billy does. But I think back then people would call her eccentric and brush it off. Based on the stories I’ve heard, it was a lot more than that. She was anxious and paranoid. She was always talking about conspiracy theories, to the point of being obsessive about it. I don’t know if it’s hereditary or not, but if it is, Billy could be facing the same thing. He’s always been one of those people who thinks everything is a conspiracy. I’m concerned he needs help, and not the kind any of us can give him.”
Van flips his hand over, palm up, and I slip mine into his. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do or say to make it better, but I’m here, and I’ll help however I can.”
“If you hadn’t been there tonight, who knows what would have happened.” My voice cracks. There’s a very real possibility that Billy might not have been found until it was too late to help him.
Van puts an arm around me. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be all right. We’ll figure it out.”
When my mom comes back to the kitchen, I can practically feel her embarrassment. As it is, her cheeks turn red. “I’m so sorry, Van. Poor Billy has been having a rough time, and I think he had too many beers. I’m so glad you were down there to help him get back up.”
“Me too. I would’ve hated for something bad to happen to him.” Van kisses my temple and takes the opportunity to excuse himself so we can handle this as a family. I need to have this conversation with my parents. There’s no more sweeping it under the rug, pretending everything is okay.
