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Trish nods with a half smile. “It’s a good spin on it, I think.” Then she asks me, “If we take a pic, can I post it?”
“Selfies with our mocktails?” I lift my drink in pose.
“Girl gang, bang bang?” Kelly offers the caption.
“Fuck yes.”
“Will Kam be all right with that?” Kelly asks and I shrug, quickly popping a cherry into my mouth before saying, “Yeah. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“And what about Playboy?” Trish’s question brings my gaze to hers. “Can I get him in the background?”
Another one of him in the background?”
“You know what they say …” Kelly says in a singsong voice.
Spotted once could mean anything or nothing. Spotted twice together means everything.
“Yeah,” I say, pushing the word out with more excitement than I anticipated I’d have.
I wonder when he’ll see. Who’s going to tell him. I want to know what he’ll think of it the most. Maybe I should be more careful, but it excites me that they’ll know he’s something to me.
“Don’t tell him you asked me,” I whisper to them.
“Feeling cheeky?” Trish murmurs as she applies a fresh pat of powder to her face.
Shrugging, I tell her, “He looks good.”
“He looks damn good,” she agrees and snaps her compact closed.
“Smile,” Trish says as she snaps a photo. I pop in another cherry garnish just as Trish says, “Wait, one more.” Back in position, with a cherry at my lips I pose humorously and then pull it out to smile.
“Hell yes,” Trish says and grins. “Check them out.”
“Oh, post both those,” Kelly suggests.
For a moment, there’s nothing but an easy happiness, like nostalgia and old times. A row of hot guys in the background at a bar, one of them I’m enjoying the best sex of my life with. Delicious food at an exclusive local restaurant, with damn good company. Not everyone has as good of girlfriends as I do. With secrets that always stay just that—secret.
“I’m still mad at Kam. Not wanting you to post. I miss your daily rants.” Trish’s admission is spoken beneath her breath as she types out the caption on her phone. “Done. Posted.” She nudges Kelly with her teeth sinking into the bottom of her teeth, placing her phone with the screen facing down on the table.
“I bet every comment is going to be about the cherry and Playboy in the background,” Kelly surmises, her gaze pinned to her phone. She barks out a laugh not ten seconds later. “Told you,” she states, pushing the phone in my direction.
She is so fucking him.
Omg that cherry *laughing emoji*
Our girl is back
BangBang is right! We see you ladies!
Check out who showed up in the background.
The comments filter in with tags to gossip columns and celebrity outlets, dozens by the minute. There’s a flip in my chest and anxiousness I hadn’t anticipated.
“Come on,” Kelly says, shifting her weight to the other hip. “This has to make you smile.”
“It does, it does.” I force my tone to be more upbeat. “Just … just wish I could post it too.” I don’t know why I lie. Maybe it isn’t a lie. Ever since the other night, there’s been a churning in the pit of my stomach. Like I sent something into motion.
“You’re the one who pays Kam. If you want to post, post.”
“I agree with Trish. Tell your man over there to get you a phone and just come back. You are back. So … if anyone says shit online, block, block, block, block, block.”
“I get why he doesn’t want me to … Just the thought of being hammered with questions and seeing that video or pics of us …”
“Kam can filter that out. He has his team.”
“I know … I don’t know why he is so damn adamant.”
“I think it’s time you put your foot down.” Kelly’s seriousness takes me aback. “Or I can put my foot down for you.”
Trish has far more compassion, but she doesn’t hide the fact that she has her qualms when it comes to my PR. “Everyone failed you; you paid them, and they failed.”
“I’m still here, aren’t I?” My comment sobers the mood too much, too quickly. “I do want to keep up with everyone again. It’s just, I feel like I should be careful … maybe. I don’t know. It’s … it all feels different.”
“Look, I didn’t want to say anything but the way they handled James’s passing was shit. That fixer bitch was dumped from Conntelex.”
The temperature of my blood plummets at the mention of that company. They’re the most sought-after company for “fixing” situations, images, for planting rumors even. I know Kam still has them on retainer.
“Cynthia, right? Like literally the day you woke up from … your fall,” Trish says, lowering her voice. I didn’t fall, I jumped, but I keep that correction to myself. They know what happened. She just doesn’t want to say it. “That next morning, she was fired.”
