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More importantly, I want this more than he does. I want to get in more than he wants to keep me out. “We can’t let you see her.”
Gritting my teeth and reining in as much anger as I can, I push out, “That’s not up to you. She has control over her life. You can’t forbid me from seeing her.”
“We can. As a member of The Firm—”
“Then I’ll fucking quit, if that’s what it takes. None of you can unilaterally determine that I’m a threat to her if she wants to see me. And I’m not going to stop.” My breaths are deep and slow, although my pulse is raging in my ears.
Even if adrenaline is coursing through my veins, my mind is clear. I’m only focused on this. Getting to her. To hear what she has to say.
“You know just as well as I do, that doing this could hurt her,” I say, reminding him of his duty as her therapist. “Ripping away someone who was helping her.”
“Zander …” My name comes out like a warning as he shakes his head.
Damon can pretend it’s not in her best interest, but it is. It’s a crucial component to her healing. If they keep us apart when she doesn’t want that, it could send her spiraling. “If she needs me in there, you’re fucked. You know that, right? If taking her away from me compromises her health, you are fucked. Try explaining that to the judge.”
“Zander—” I reach around him and he catches my wrist in one hand.
I break his hold. Of course I do. I’ve trained for this, same as he has, and something in the movement must tell him that I’m serious because he backs off half a step, his hands up. “Did they change the location of the safe house?”
His lips form a thin line. I’m being a dick right now, and I know that. He’s not supposed to tell me anything about Ella’s location. Private citizen or not. Member of The Firm or not. But we’ve got a lot of history between us.
“You can refuse to tell me if you want, but I’ll just search every building in the city until I find her. I’ll search the whole damn world.”
Damon lets out a breath, defeated. “They didn’t change it. She’s upstairs as far as I know.”
My next step forward is determined, emotions I didn’t expect spurring me on.
“Just—” Damon moves to block me. “It’s not good, Z. They’ve got proof of what you did. This isn’t going to turn out well for you, and it might destroy the rest of us. It would be better if you went back to the motel and let Cade handle it. If you did that, maybe there would be a way to figure things out. I don’t know.”
Swallowing thickly, I nod, acknowledging that I know I put them in jeopardy. “If it goes to court, I’ll testify none of you knew a damn thing. That I doctored the security footage so no one else would know about us.”
“Just stop—”
“You don’t get it. I’m not leaving her up there.” My throat goes tight, my heart beating too hard to be contained. “Things aren’t finished between us. This is about more than what I want. Hell, what I want doesn’t mean a damn thing right now. She tells me to back off, and I will. But I have to know. I have to hear it from her. She gets to make that choice.”
“Let’s talk about it for a few minutes first,” Damon says and irritation rolls through me. He takes a few steps in the direction of the cars, away from the door. “Make sure you’re calm. It won’t do anyone any good if you go in there with that look on your face.”
“What fucking look?”
“Like you’d pull down this building with your bare hands to get to her.”
I pause. Hope brightens Damon’s eyes; he thinks he might have convinced me to stay out here and have a pointless conversation with him.
“Listen,” he says. “You did this, but we can figure out what to do—”
I don’t hear the rest. I’ve yanked the door open and I’m sprinting inside. Punching in a code on the keypad in the foyer. The door clicks open. They haven’t changed it yet. Thank fuck.
“Wait,” he shouts behind me.
I don’t.
I’m halfway professional by the time I get up the stairs, Damon breathing hard behind me. I’ve at least arranged my face into something I think resembles professionalism. But as I shove open the door, I know how skin deep it is. Underneath I’m feral.
They’re arranged around the table of the conference room and there’s a deadly atmosphere in the room. The tension is palpable. A reception desk takes up one side of the space. A sofa and two chairs huddle around a bean-shaped table in the corner. Silas on the left. Kamden on the right with Ella beside him. Cade looming over everything at the head. I almost missed Dane, standing outside the conference room. He didn’t make an effort to stop me and judging how he’s opted out of this meeting, there’s something happening with him that I’m not aware of. I don’t have time to give a fuck about that.
