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“It’s a classic. And The Preacher’s Wife.”
“Wait. Isn’t that about an angel putting the moves on the preacher’s wife?”
“Damn it. Now I can’t watch that movie ei— What are you doing?”
“You promised I could do whatever I wanted.”
“You can’t just put your mouth there with no warning.”
“I’ll let you do it to me.”
“Thank God.”
Today we had some hiccups. Barry was in a rare mood. He wanted to see Penny and Sean Finn. He wanted to go sledding. He felt like throwing his Lego ship and the ship in a bottle kit we’d been working on across the room and nearly hit his brother in the head.
He was overtired and concerned because one of his friends at school was moving away. He didn’t want to move away, he shouted at one point during his tantrum. And I knew that’s what his behavior was really about.
It tore at my heart, but I still made him apologize to Lang and clean up the mess he made. Not only does he need to learn that lashing out isn’t a healthy way to get attention, but he needs the structure of our rules under this roof to know that nothing is changing and I’m not going anywhere. Stability with Barry has always been the key.
I left him alone to get myself together so we could talk, but when I came back to his room Tanisha was there in my place. In between hugs and commiseration, they were labeling boxes and organizing his toys. The mess had already been cleaned up and his eyes were swollen, but he was smiling.
I might have been an asshole. My only excuse is that I was worried about him. But there was some jealousy mixed in there as well. I pulled her aside to explain privately that I’d told Barry to clean up on his own. That we needed boundaries. That she couldn’t just swoop in and save the day. That we’d talked about limits.
She, in turn, told me where I could stick it.
She didn’t look at me at dinner. Didn’t allow me to join them on clean-up duty. And she immediately accepted Langston’s request to help him with his homework instead of spending time with me.
I’m not sure what my problem was. Both my boys adore her in a way that surprises me daily, and I should be thankful. What kind of man wants his wife and kids to dislike each other?
But what will happen when she leaves?
“Thinking of trying that on?”
I glance at the peach flavored lip balm I’m holding in my hand before setting it down and turning to face her. She’s standing in the open door, her expression uncertain. “I thought you might be sleeping somewhere else.”
She’d been expecting it after our fight, I know. That I wouldn’t come in for our evening makeout session. That I might not sleep beside her. It was why she’d taken that work call along with her laptop into the dining room, leaving me to get the kids in bed.
“That was Jae on the phone, right? I heard you mention Noah and Zach.”
She purses her lips together, a small line between her brow. “Yes. He’s having some interpersonal difficulties. Unfortunately, Joey is in New Zealand at the moment, so he had to talk to me instead. I don’t think I was all that helpful.” She looks away from me. “It’s not my night to be helpful, apparently.”
I eat up the distance between us, and close and lock the door, brushing my body against hers with purpose. “New rule. When we close this door, it’s just you and me. Nothing else matters.”
“That’s an irrational edict,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Even on this side of the door, this problem is between you and me. You don’t want me to be there for your kids. You didn’t tell me Barry had a follow-up doctor’s appointment. You didn’t tell me your mother needed them picked up early yesterday, and you forgot to tell me that I was supposed to bring a side dish to Thanksgiving. And tonight, when I was trying to help, you shut me down.”
I run a hand over my head in frustration. “I’ve been taking care of the details on my own for a while, Tanisha. I know they stayed with their mother, too, but all those appointments? Their school supplies and teacher conferences? Every injury? That was on me. I’ve been the one they looked to and relied on, and I’m used to doing things a certain way.”
She walks over to the dresser, looking tired. Did I do that to her?
“I know you are,” she says, “which is why I agreed that I wouldn’t come in and take over. But we also stipulated that we would communicate when it came to them, so we could project a unified front. That I’d be able to be a part of their lives when they were ready for it. Part of this family. Barry liked my label maker,” she finishes quietly. “And I was showing him a way that he can organize his thoughts when they feel cluttered, just like we organized his toys. Pulling them out, looking at them, seeing where they belong. It helped him.”
I move closer and reach for her but stop myself, hands hovering over her body. “You already are a part of this family, Tanisha. And you did help. I’m sorry. I’m still getting used to this. To us. I want to say I won’t fuck up again, but I’m not sure that’s true. I’ve never been the easiest Wayne to get along with. That was always Thoreau and Austen. Never me.”
“That’s not true.” When she looks up at me, her expression has softened. “We’ve done pretty well for the most part. Getting along.”
“That’s all because of you,” I tell her honestly, giving in and cupping her cheek. Her skin feels like velvet. “I was expecting trouble, you know. Irritating habits. The kids acting out, despite our conversations with them. But you came in and everything got better instead. Brighter.”
“Now you’re sucking up,” she teases.
