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He was even more to her, and to so many. Did he see that? Or was he blind to it all? ‘You said you wanted to teach your...Pueblo that he was wrong to make himself your enemy. But you’re so much more than one man’s opinion of you, Joao. I’ve seen people react to shallow, selfish rich folks who throw their money around. That’s not what I see with those who work for you. I’ve also seen the company poll. Do you know how many people said they would work for you even if you cut their salary in half?’
For the briefest moment, he looked mildly shocked, shaken even. Then his mouth tightened. ‘I’m not exactly sure where you’re going with this but let me assure you of one thing. I’m no one’s knight in shining armour,’ he answered tersely.
The slight quake in her body sent her fingers to her hair only to recall it wasn’t in a bun. ‘Just because you don’t want the prize doesn’t mean it doesn’t belong to you,’ she muttered.
Joao’s gaze dropped from where he’d been watching her toy with her hair. For several seconds, he didn’t breathe, only watched her with something akin to bewilderment. Then abruptly, he stepped back. ‘I have a few calls to make. Since you seem to have a bee in your bonnet about my presence, I’m sure you’ll welcome the chance to rest and explore on your own.’
He started to walk away.
‘No, I won’t,’ she said firmly.
* * *
Joao knew he should walk away. That the simmering emotions that had left him far from calm since their night in Shanghai were in serious danger of erupting.
‘Excuse me?’ The question was just to buy himself time, straighten thoughts that lately scattered in her presence.
But nothing seemed to be working. She’d burrowed deep inside him to a point where his thoughts started and ended with Saffie. As for that hard-core masochism he’d developed where the need to touch her felt as vital as breathing? He silently shook his head.
Like an addict, he’d known he was courting trouble. But again, he’d found justification for it. More public appearances with Saffie...just so he had an excuse to touch her without falling foul of their agreement in Shanghai. Just so he could allay his dread at the thought of her leaving. As if touching her, making sure she was by his side, was all he needed at any given time.
He still desired her. And even before their night together was over, he knew it would never be enough. That he should’ve negotiated for more.
But they’d agreed. And he’d left his bed the next morning knowing he’d rather she stayed by his side, as his assistant, than left because he wanted her in his bed with a fever that consumed him.
Saffie shrugged. ‘Thanks to your actions, the world seems to think we’re either about to or already are sleeping together. I don’t want to rest and I don’t want to explore or do anything until you explain to me why you’ve been acting as if I belong to you when we’re in public.’
Since that was exactly what he’d been doing, Joao experienced a pang of guilt. One which he immediately justified. ‘You mean beyond sending out a clear message that I won’t welcome my assistant being poached?’
Anger and a touch of disappointment flitted across her face. ‘Don’t take me for a fool, Joao. That message could’ve been relayed with a few words from you like you did with Will Ashby in Shanghai.’
He padded back to where she stood, fighting the temptation to touch her. When the warmth of her body called temptingly to his.
But even as he tried to talk himself down, his hand rose, hovered over skin so smooth and alluring he felt his heart flip over. Only by flattening it against the wall beside her head, and gritting his teeth, did he stop the urge.
Saffie tilted her head, boldly met his eyes, demanding an answer without the faintest knowledge that she set his emotions aflame with a simple look. Or did she know? She’d made herself indispensable in one area of his life. Was she making herself indispensable in that part of his life he’d never let anyone else?
She licked her bottom lip, a nervous action that left him far too weak and far too vulnerable for his liking.
Again, he knew he should walk away. And yet he found himself answering.
‘You wish to know why?’ he asked after several, pulse-destroying seconds had passed. ‘I’m trying to understand you, Saffie. I’m trying to see beneath the insane need to the why.’
Her delicate nostrils pinched. ‘Why what?’
‘Why I expose things to you that no one else knows. Why lately I tolerate your mild insubordination and you delving into matters that don’t concern you when I would’ve fired others on the spot. Why I can’t stop you from getting under my skin,’ he breathed.
Her eyes darkened and a slight tremor went through her. He yearned to explore that reaction but he knew he was already skating on the edge. From that moment he’d confessed he needed her, his world had tilted on its axis. That visceral confession seemed to be one he couldn’t take back no matter how hard he tried.
‘It still doesn’t explain why you touch me, Joao.’
The breath expelled from his lungs; he watched it ruffle the soft hair at her temple and once again fought the desire to touch her. ‘Do I need to spell it out? I still desire you. But we agreed on one night, and I don’t want to give you an excuse to walk away.’ He gave a short, self-deprecating laugh. ‘But you needn’t worry. I may have let myself get carried away but I don’t intend to act on it.’
She licked her lips, and the simmer turned into a torrent. ‘Do I want to know the reasons behind that conclusion?’
A sliver of ice cut through the heat, scalpel-sharp and reopening wounds he believed long decayed. ‘Because blind lust jeopardises everything. My father had a wife and children of his own at home, and yet he repeatedly gave into weakness, which led to my unwanted birth. And then he spent a significant amount of time attempting to diminish my existence. We gave into blind lust, too, didn’t we? Look where we are.’
* * *
