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Understanding flitted across her face. But there was also pain. Disappointment.
He swallowed. He held out his hands, pleading without words for her understanding. ‘I’ve never made a deal when I walked away with nothing. You threatening to walk away, first from being my right hand, and then with my child—’
‘Our children.’
‘Sim. Two of the most precious things I’ve ever helped create... I just reacted the only way I knew how. Then coming face to face with Pueblo after so many years in Brazil...’
She frowned. ‘When was the last time you saw him before the match?’
‘The first time I bested him in a deal I was twenty-four. I insisted on him being there to sign the company I’d just bought from under him. Sao Paolo was the next time. After almost a decade, I’d fooled myself into thinking I’d be able to handle it. But you were right. I let him get to me. And believe me, I heard what you attempted to tell me that night in Sao Paolo. You were exposing every part of myself I’ve striven to hide and, well... I’m learning to accept some of it. Because to trust so completely...was another new phenomenon I couldn’t contemplate.’
‘But you trust me. At least in part.’
‘I trust you wholly. It was simply easier to delude myself that the professional front was the only one that mattered. Confessing after that I wanted to do things differently, learn to love where I wasn’t loved, was far too exposing. The agreement was the perfect way to attempt to leave my emotions out of it.’
‘But you couldn’t.’
He gave a low, self-deprecating laugh. ‘Did I not manipulate you to ensure I would have a hand in your life even if you left me?’
Her stunning eyes swept away from his, her hands cupping her shoulders in self-protection that made him feel like the lowest of the low. ‘I hear all of this. But how do I trust you now? After everything that’s happened?’
Pain slashed his insides as he slowly approached her. ‘By giving me a chance to prove myself. I stood the lawyers down the day you left. The precious children you carry will bear whatever name you wish them to bear. All I ask is that you give me a role in their lives. That you give me a chance to be their father by not owning them, but by loving and cherishing them the way every child deserves. But...if you don’t want me to have anything to do with them—’
Her fingers on his lips stopped his words. ‘I would never do that. Not after what we’ve both been through. That was what I’d planned on telling you that night on the terrace. That I wanted us to co-parent our babies. That even if you didn’t have...feelings towards me you would at least love them. I needed that commitment from you for them, Joao. Because anything less than that won’t do.’
A deep shudder shook him to his toes and he squeezed his eyes shut. ‘The most valuable deal of my life and I messed it up spectacularly.’
Soft hands found his jaw and he pried his eyes open. ‘It’s not too late. If you meant what you just said. If you’re willing—’
He caught her hand in his, infusing his vows through touch. And then through words. ‘Meu Deus, yes. I’m willing, Saffie. More than.’
Her eyes dimmed. ‘So this is just a co-parenting role you want?’
‘What right do I have to ask for more?’
‘Has that ever stopped you?’
‘Meu amor, I may not be bright when it comes to...certain things but I’m a quick learner. I will stop if—’
‘You’re brazen. You’re cunningly clever and you’re scarily ruthless when you need to be. Don’t let me down now, Joao,’ she urged huskily.
He heard the plea in her voice and his heart began to hammer against his ribs. ‘Saffie...are you...?’ He swallowed, for the first time in his life unable to voice his need.
‘Ask me, Joao,’ she insisted.
He sucked in a breath, and laid it all on the line. ‘I want to be more than the father to our children. I want your heart. I want your trust. I want the right to call you mine and to love you as you deserve to be loved. With adoration. Completely. For as long as I draw breath.’
He held his breath as she stared back at him. As her eyes filled with tears. As a sob broke free and she threw herself into his arms.
As he caught her and held her and experienced the first, true taste of homecoming.
* * *
‘So, how was the party?’
Joao nuzzled his face deeper into the sweet curve of her throat, the need he’d thought sated after four hours in bed with Saffie astonishingly rising again.
‘I don’t know. I left half an hour after it started.’
