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His gaze turned bleak. ‘I can’t speak for others, but I know what my actions came close to costing me. The way I’ve been with you, right from the start, herding you into decisions you were reluctant to take—’
‘There you go again—seeking the crown of martyrdom. I have a voice, Neo. And, if you recall, you didn’t get everything your own way. What makes you think I didn’t want it too? That I wasn’t in a hurry to fall into bed with you or marry you for my own reasons?’
He shook his head. ‘Be that as it may, I set this ball rolling—’
‘What? Gave me a roof over my head? A job opportunity that most would give their eye teeth for?’
‘You said yourself—those are just things. What you could’ve lost—’
‘But we didn’t lose anything, Neo. Our baby is fine.’
Raw bitterness tightened his face. ‘But for how long?’
My heart shredded. ‘What?’
‘I only negotiated for the short term, Sadie. As unfortunate as the circumstances are, it’s a wake-up call. I need to accept that I don’t have the tools for the long term.’
My fists bunched as anguish ripped through me. ‘I don’t buy that either, Neo. But I can’t stop you from this path you obviously want to take, so just spare me the suspense and spit it out?’
His jaw worked for the longest time. Then he nodded. ‘I’m leaving for Brazil tomorrow. Then travelling in Latin America for the next few weeks.’
‘You’re leaving.’
It wasn’t a question. More absorbing the impact of the wrecking ball.
‘Yes.’
‘Because I’m so different from Anneka?’ I taunted sarcastically.
‘Yes!’ The word was drawn from his soul. Almost as if he was terrified to admit it.
My jaw dropped. ‘Neo...’
‘You’ll be taken care of—’
‘I don’t want a laundry list of things you’re putting in place to ensure I don’t lift a finger. I want to know why you promised me better terms and are now reneging.’
‘This is for your own good.’
I couldn’t help the laughter that spilled out. ‘Is it, though? You know what you remind me of, Neo? My father. Always looking for something better! You changed the rules to suit you when you decided you wanted a wife, not just in name, but in your bed. Then you changed them again because you can’t handle a little challenge. I’ve outlived my usefulness to you in one area. So you’re shelving me until you get the other things that you want.’
His jaw clenched. ‘No—what your father did, he did for himself. What I’m doing is for you.’
‘Trust me to know my own mind! Believe me when I tell you what’s in my heart.’
He lost another layer of colour, but his eyes blazed with quiet fury. ‘I’ve made my decision. But know that besides my absence, nothing changes.’
‘That’s where you’re wrong. I’ve changed. I know my own worth now. I know I want more than this. I won’t be bargained with, or put on a shelf to suit you. So if you think your world is going to stay trouble-free because you’ve laid down the law, think again.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
I shrugged dismissively, even though it was the last thing I felt like doing. ‘I guess we’ll find out. Goodbye, Neo.’
He stayed put, his gaze fixed in that way that said he was assessing me for weakness.
And because I wasn’t sure how long I could stay put without cracking, I turned away from him, closed my eyes and simply pretended he wasn’t there.
I heard the ominous snick of the door a minute later.
