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Meetings went on late into the night, tempers frayed and were lost. When he emerged from a conference room three days after their engagement, still looking haggard and frustrated, Esme’s heart lurched. Then it dipped even further when he approached her with a grim, resolute look.
‘Fawzi is instructing your staff to pack for you. You’re returning to Ja’ahr this afternoon.’
It was the last thing she was expecting. The last thing her heart seemed to be prepared for. ‘Why?’ she blurted, knowing she was in deep trouble where her feelings for Zaid were concerned.
‘I’m going to be here for a little longer. And you need to return and ensure the wedding preparations are under way.’
She didn’t want to leave, but now she’d agreed to marry him, any objection would be seen as dragging her feet. But there was still an issue between them.
‘Zaid, we still need to talk about my past.’
His hand slashed through the air. ‘Enough with this need to talk!’
Frustration and anger welled inside her. ‘This is important—’
‘So is this wedding. Perhaps you ought to concentrate on the future and stop dwelling on the past?’ he bit out.
‘All I need is ten minutes,’ she insisted.
He clawed his fingers through his hair. ‘That’s ten more than I have right now, Esmeralda. I merely came out here to say goodbye.’
‘If all you wanted was to tell me I was being shipped out, perhaps you should’ve sent Fawzi. Or a text message.’
He growled under his breath. ‘I do not wish to fight with you.’
‘You don’t wish to do anything with me, except throw directives and expect me to jump when you say so!’
His gaze dropped to her stomach. ‘In your state, I would prefer less jumping and more co-operation,’ he suggested, with a possessive throb in his voice that was directed solely at his heir.
Pain struck somewhere in the region of her heart. ‘I’m well aware that I’m merely a vessel for your heir, Zaid, but perhaps you might spare a thought for my state of mind, too?’
He looked puzzled for a moment. That moment passed almost instantly when Fawzi appeared like an unwanted apparition.
‘Your Highness, your presence is needed.’
Zaid exhaled noisily. ‘I’ll be right there.’
Esme couldn’t stop her mouth twisted in bitterness. ‘Of course you will.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘Esmeralda—’
She waved him away, her gesture carefree despite the pain and anxiety twisting her insides. ‘It’s fine, Zaid. I understand completely where I stand in the pecking order. So I guess I’ll see you when I see you.’
Then she did what he’d done to her many times since their arrival. She left him standing there, staring after her.
The return journey to Ja’ahr was uneventful, probably because she retired to the master suite the moment she boarded the jet and spent the whole trip curled up with her pillow for company.
Zaid couldn’t have spelled it out more conclusively if he’d tried that she was merely a means to an end. He’d brought her to Paris to apply pressure on her to marry him. The moment she’d agreed her place on the chessboard had become redundant.
And it wasn’t as if he’d hidden his motives. Zaid had been upfront about this marriage being for the sole benefit of his people and his heir.
So why did it hurt so much? The answer mocked her in the dull thudding of her heart. Zaid’s feelings might be purposefully basic, but along the line hers had gained strings and bows and hopes for a happy ever after with no basis in reality. And even now she feared it was too late.
Melancholy born of that realisation stayed with her long after they landed back in Ja’ahr and into the days that followed. Lost in her gloomy world that not even the joy of the child growing in her womb could shake, it took a while to realise the mood of the people h
ad shifted slightly.
When she started to pay attention, she saw TV reports and debates that questioned her suitability as the daughter of a criminal to be the first lady of Ja’ahr. When further questions arose about her father and her past, her anxiety grew. But then so did her sense of finality. Maybe it was all for the best. Maybe the decision would be taken out of her hands by the people who mattered. Ja’ahr’s citizens.
