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I drove around until I found the road that had led to the woods—the place I was attacked the first time. I parked in the same place I had that day, slowly recounting my every step.
I knew Amelia would be feeling the pain I was in. I had only been gone for an hour, though. She wouldn't understand. None of them would. But I wasn't as strong as Selesha.
My heart pounded so hard that it felt like it was trying to escape from my chest. Panic was overriding every other emotion, and my breathing was too erratic, causing me to lose more oxygen than I was taking in.
I got out of my car and ran into the woods, stumbling and staggering as though I was drunk. But I managed to find the spot. The same spot where Tallis saved me the first time.
I knew what I had to do, and maybe I could save everyone. They wanted me, not my family—me. And now there was nothing keeping me from the fate I've denied for too long.
I had to die while I was still easy to kill. I had to die while I still had something they wanted. My life would end this game of madness between the two sides, and everyone could relax. My life would save Amelia's, because they'd never look for her if they're not looking for me anymore.
Over and over, I justified this decision in my head, reconciling it even as my head throbbed with pain. Everything made sense. This was what was best. I'd save many by sacrificing myself.
"Here I am! Come get me!"
More tears fell, exposing me, telling everyone the pain I was in. And I let them fall without interruption and without wiping them away. I ignored the burn from the hot tears on my raw cheeks. It felt like lava streaming down in a relentless flow, but the pain it caused was a reprieve from the pain within.
I was a rock sinking to the bottom of the ocean, unable to swim up. My chest was too heavy to rise for a new breath. I could barely breathe. I was drained already. I just needed it to be official.
"Take my damn essence! Take whatever you want! Just make it stop."
My arms and legs were slowly turning to rubber, making it hard to move or even stand.
"Come get me! You want me so badly! I'm giving myself to you. No fight. Just take me! Please!" My voice tapered off quieter as I collapsed, pulling my knees to my chest. I buried my head between my knees as I sobbed, "Please, please, please kill me."
I rocked back and forth, unable to form any more words as my sobs worsened. Something was trying to burrow out of my chest using a dull spoon, or at least that's what it felt like.
Then I smelled it. The strong, putrid smell that promised me peace by offering death. And it was close.
I stood to my feet shakily, slowly finding composure. I had been trying for so long to stay alive. Now I was ready to concede to death. They could have me. I was done being the object of their desire.
The crunching of leaves drew nearer, and I awaited my fate. Maybe this was my destiny all along, and loving Tallis was just my gift before my death.
Standing thirty feet away, there was now a man. Long black hair brushed his waist. His eyes were blacker than midnight, and his lips were etched into an eerie grin.
"Well, isn't this nice. A sweet little Coldwell mortal. Your essence is just delightful."
He had a hissing tone like I had heard before, as if I was talking to a serpent.
"Finally," I grumbled.
Warily he strode toward me, keeping his eyes trained and ready for anything.
"What are you doing unattended?" he hissed as he looked around skeptically, like he was expecting someone to jump in and save me.
"There's no one here, and you can skip the creepy monologue. I've heard it all before. My essence smells wonderful. I shouldn't be all alone. You are supposed to take me to Graven, but you can't resist taking me for yourself. Blah, blah, blah." He cocked an eyebrow as I glared at him. "Just kill me. Do whatever you want to with my essence, just kill me. Get it over with."
He cocked his head to the side in surprise. "So you are just offering to die?" he asked, suspicious.
"Just do it already!" I screamed, and that was all the encouragement he needed.
In a blink, he was in front of me, grabbing me by the throat and pulling my mouth close to his. He began inhaling, and I felt myself weakening every second as death promised to free me from the pain.
But just as I relinquished myself to death, footsteps barreled toward us, and saved me against my will as a body plowed into my attacker, forcing him to drop his hold on me.
He staggered around, searching the woods around us as I lay on the ground, staring blankly.
"I knew it was a trap!" he snapped.
