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“My queen baby and her momma’s boy squire,” Dice mutters under his breath, then heaves out a breath when Mom pops him with a crack of power like a punch in the gut.
Karma snorts then chokes back a laugh. “Hashtag, traitor,” Dice groans.
“I really don’t know why I come to these,” Slade goes on.
“That raid we led last weekend got us some new tips,” Zee says from the wicker sofa, while Leah reads a book, her head in his lap.
It’s one of those days where we’re not waiting on the inevitable apocalypse, because we’re the hunters for now.
“I’ll take duck tips,” Dice says, peeking one eye open. “Oh, wrong kind of tips. Hashtag, insert clever quip here because I’m too tired to be on my game today.”
Karma smirks again, and I roll my eyes.
“I say it every time, because squirrels have bigger attention spans. There’s no point in coming. So why do I come?” Slade goes on as I lean against him and get more comfortable.
His arm goes around me, drawing me to him, and I grin as his heartbeat drums in my ear.
“What about the breaches?” Mom asks, trying not to laugh at Slade, since he really hates being laughed at.
I personally enjoy it when they laugh at him, simply because of how annoyed it leaves him.
I elbow him in the ribs when he sits up straighter, his attention already tuned in like the territorial predator he created himself to be. “This is why you come,” I remind him.
He gives me an incredulous look as I grin, and he directs his attention to Mom as he answers.
“Harmless things mostly. Had a few cross, hostile things, but they looked scarier than they were. We’re limited on what we can do, since the breach is over dragon territory.”
“Have we dropped the ite?” Dice asks, rousing from his sleep. “Just finally calling them dragons? Because the ite just makes them sound like insects or parasites, and it’s hard to take them seriously after that. But if they spray fire, we should take them seriously, so I vote the ite be gone too, and they just be the dragons.”
“Would you shut up for five bloody minutes so I can get all these damn facts in one, unbroken piece?” Slade snaps. “It’s why I come to these things, since you people are terrible with relaying important information any other way.”
“Ten years and we’re still you people,” Dice says as though he’s genuinely putout by this. “Open your journal. Invite the nice guy back in.”
“I’m going to murder him,” Slade tells me seriously, pointing at Dice before looking back over at Thad.
I struggle to keep a straight face, because this is why I look forward to family meetings. I always envisioned a future where Slade and Dice were forced to spend loads of time together.
“But the breaches are few and far between,” Thad says, picking up where Slade left off.
He grins over at Slade when Slade makes a move like he’s going to kill Dice. Dice starts to open his mouth, then closes it, and opens it again, taunting the murderous guy I love.
“The dragons are handling the breachers, turning them over to us at the edge of their territory, and they let us in after they handled the hostile attack situation to examine the evidence. But it’s tense between us at best,” Chaz adds, propping his feet up and putting his arm around Kya.
“All because you didn’t send a message ten years ago when I told you to. Darius will impose his dominance at any chance he’s given, and so will that pompous prick for the red ones,” Slade growls.
“Ten years ago. It was ten years ago. Let. It. Go,” Dad groans.
“It’s not like we predicted when that portal blew up on a cosmically imbalanced night that it would rip an interdimensional hole in the sky,” Mom reasonably points out. “It wasn’t covered in our agreement with the dragonites when you originally created this alliance between us.”
“So we’re back to using the ite? Because when you say dragonite, I feel like scratching my ear and head,” Dice interjects. “It doesn’t evoke the rational fear one should have.”
Slade stands abruptly, and Dice leaps backwards like a cat, landing way behind where he was. “My fight or flight is so on point. I survived all one thousand and one times. Hashtag, can’t touch this.” He starts dancing. Of course. It’s Dice.
This is why we keep him.
It’s always funny as long as you’re not the one he’s annoying.
Slade curses and drops back to his seat, as all of the rest of us struggle to keep a straight face. Zee really enjoys these moments, since he’s not allowed to kill Slade. Same for Thad. I think they pay Dice to be extra annoying on family meeting days.
