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"I wish I could say I'm that noble, Alyssa. It's my nature—you know—to be possessive. I couldn't let you go. Hell, even when I pushed you away, I couldn't let you go. I had to be with you. I still do. I probably shouldn't have told you, but I don't want to keep anything from you ever again."
I breathe out hard, silently digesting and sorting through the facts. If I was human, I'd be appalled and ready to run. But I'm not human. I'm fey. I understand his ways, his nature. It's one of the reasons I've hated night stalkers in the past, but how can I hate the man I fell in love with?
"I really don't know how to feel about that," I mutter at last, still motionless beneath him.
"You hate it and love it," he says absentmindedly, refusing to meet my gaze, still idly playing with my hair.
He's right. "What if I had hated you the way you hate Castine?" I ask, making him grimace.
His fingers stop moving through my locks, and he finally looks at me, letting his eyes find mine, staring endlessly into my soul.
"I would have died."
My heart breaks and soars at once. This relationship is toxic and euphoric at the same time. I'm not even sure how we're supposed to make this work.
"Will you say something? Do you want to leave?" he asks when the silence grows to be suffocating.
"It's not like I can go anywhere. You're pinning me down, and my magic is useless on you," I mumble, half-grinning like the twisted freak I am.
It's not right to find any of what he said romantic, but sadly, that almost is romantic for a night stalker. I'm a witch. Though I'm starting to see how naive I am, I still know more than a human would...most of the time. I know what I'm getting into, so it's hard to judge him for being the deadly beauty he is. Especially since he's not judging me for the deadlier beauty I'm starting to become.
He grins and visibly relaxes in the next breath, and then he starts trailing kisses down my neck.
"I still want you just as much now as I did then, Alyssa," he says as he starts pulling my shirt up. "Actually, I want you even more. Don't leave me again."
I laugh, though it's not because anything is funny. It's a delirious laugh brought on by the exhaustion eating me alive.
"Something funny?" he asks, leaning back, seeming wounded.
"Yes. You. I didn't leave you. We both ran away from each other."
He studies me for a minute, hesitant about saying anything more. Finally, his mouth wins the war over his mind. "I didn't find anyone else."
I frown, now realizing for the first time how much that must have hurt - seeing me with Gage while still secretly being in love with me. It would have destroyed me if he had gotten with anyone else, and I flaunted it in front of him.
"I'm sorry. I thought you hated me. I thought we'd never move past what we were," I murmur softly, running my finger down the strong line of his jaw.
"I never hated you. I wanted to. Damn, did I want to—but I couldn't. I was still in love, and it was agonizing to watch you with him. I never want to
have to again. Promise me I won't."
"You won't," I say without any reservations or hesitation.
His lips find mine, instantly rewarding me, but his ringing phone distracts us, forcing us to pull away from the moment. I hate deja vu.
"Yeah," he murmurs into the phone, not moving his body away from mine.
"We have the details now," Sierra says, sounding a little breathless.
"And?"
"It was a lycan attack. Nothing else. Where are you?"
"Edgebrook. We're camping out at a hotel."
"Why a hotel? Don't you both own homes there?" she asks, sounding confused.
"We do, but Alyssa wanted a hotel room. It's a mini stay-cation," he says, grinning.
