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“Fuck you,” he says around a choked, strained sound, and my heart breaks in my chest as I slowly wrap my arms around him, returning the embrace. I can’t remember the last time Aidan hugged me.
It’s not allowed.
Physical contact stirs emotions.
Emotions lead to irrationality.
Too much emotion is not allowed, and I’ve just gotten my emotions back in check.
That doesn’t stop me from hugging him as hard as I can as the tears I’ve restrained for weeks start to creep out. Hunter flips on the light as he steps inside. The exhaustion in his eyes hurts to see, and with the way Aidan is clinging to me…
“You fucked up,” Hunter says, shaking his head as he comes to wrap his arms around me too, making it one big group event. “And you were wrong,” he adds against my ear.
I don’t speak, because my brother is still clinging to me like he can’t let go, and Hunter is tearing up. If I try to say anything, I’m going to break down.
For several long, silent moments, we stand there in a group hug, until Hunter finally withdraws and clears his throat, wiping his eyes as he turns away. Aidan continues holding me, and a new sense of self-loathing seeps in.
I did this to him.
In my quest to make his life better, somehow I’ve made it worse.
Whit said he was bad, but I didn’t realize he was destroyed. There’s a huge difference.
Hunter just stares as Aidan’s grip slowly loosens, and I hear his breathing change seconds before his knees give out. A grunt leaves my lips when his body becomes dead weight, forcing me to strain to keep him upright, and Hunter hisses out a breath before he grabs Aidan and lifts him off me.
He bends and Aidan drops over his shoulder, completely passed-out, and my eyebrows go up in confusion as Hunter stands with Aidan dangling. He carries him over to the couch and drops him there, and I go to help adjust him so that he wakes up comfortable instead of awkward.
“Aidan doesn’t sleep this hard,” I say more to myself than Hunter.
“He barely sleeps at all, he’s drunk off his ass, and he finally found you. Who knows how long he’s about to crash.”
The bite of anger in his tone causes me to flinch.
“I didn’t expect this,” I whisper, brushing my brother’s hair away from his face as he snores loudly.
Hunter is glaring at me when I turn to face him, and I see the heavy exhaustion in his eyes as well.
“We’re family, Mika. All of us. And believe it or not, you’re the fucking glue. You think it’s such a hardship to love you and live by the rules that you need for stability? You’re wrong. Hell, look at him. Look at me. We’ve barely slept, all hell has broken loose at your home in Hayden, and alcohol has become our best friend. Mostly Aidan’s. So fuck your logic and your stupid decision.”
Blowing out a shaky breath, my eyes drop back down to my resting brother. He looks absolutely wrecked.
“It’s just been two months.”
“And you look fucking fine,” Hunter says bitterly.
Yeah, that hurts.
I turn back to face him and cross my arms over my chest.
“I’m not fine. At all. I’m miserable, if that makes you feel any better. Lonely. Scared most of the time, since I’m in the middle of nowhere. I’m also sick of eating pizza.”
He snorts, but the amusement dies quickly.
“Then come home. Any home at all. Back in New York. Back to Hayden… You name it, we’ll follow.”
“And do what? It’s an adjustment, but you two can’t keep sacrificing a normal life to deal with my fucked-up-ness.”
“Normal is overrated,” he deadpans.
