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My legs collapse, and I slide down the wall behind me until I’m sitting in the floor. There was so much blood, and I can’t even get back there to her when she needs me.
Chapter 40
CHASE
After what feels like forever, I go to lower myself by Hunter. Blake is sitting on the other side of him, but Hunter hasn’t spoken since we got here.
“What happened?” I finally manage to ask.
Hunter looks up with wet eyes, and he curses before wiping away a tear and clearing his throat.
“She cut herself up,” he says quietly. “Again.”
My breath gets trapped in my throat, as Blake lets out a strangled sound. All those scars on her stomach…
“She did that to herself?” Blake asks quietly.
Hunter just nods, staring at nothing in particular.
“Why the hell would you leave her alone if she does that sort of thing?” Blake asks while I work to wrap my head around everything, trying and failing to make it all make sense.
“She hasn’t done anything like this in seven years. Aidan is hating himself enough right now as it is. We knew she’d be agitated and possibly break some shit after we found out about what happened, but never expected her to do that. I’m guessing she’s been breaking too many rules lately, and this was just something that got out of control.”
“The fuck kind of rules are you talking about?” I ask, still so damn lost. “She cut herself up because I changed what time I was coming over there?”
He nods absently, still seeming a thousand miles away. Blowing out a long breath, he leans back and scrubs his face with his hands.
“This shouldn’t be me telling you this, but fuck it. She’s getting careless, and someone has to tell you since you’re obviously fucking her.”
My spine stiffens when I hear the bite to his tone, but it doesn’t sound like jealousy. Just frustration.
He glances around at all the nosy assholes before gesturing for us to follow him outside. As soon as we get out to the parking lot and have privacy, he turns and faces us, as Blake takes my side.
“Mika suffered a major brain injury when she was eighteen.”
My breath gets painful as I try to digest that, and Blake leans against a car to the side as he exhales heavily.
“Damn,” Blake says quietly.
“Her mom pushed her off the second floor, and Mika landed on a coffee table. She miraculously survived without spinal injuries, but her head hit so hard it caused the brain to swell and bleed. They had to do emergency surgery, but the operating surgeon had been drinking that night. He didn’t tell anyone until it was too late and he almost killed her. Again, she escaped death and also managed to escape being paralyzed. Another doctor stepped in just in time to save her life, but the damage had been done, even though no one knew it immediately.”
I drop the tailgate on the back of the random truck behind me, and I sit down on it when my knees threaten to buckle.
“What happened?” I ask in a strained, regretful tone. Mika told me shit went bad, but I had no idea…
“Mika slipped into a coma for five weeks. When she woke up, she couldn’t speak, walk, or anything else. It took her a few months, but it all slowly started coming back to her, and she eventually remembered all the basics. Another blessing.”
He leans against another car, sighing as he crosses his arms over his chest.
“Unfortunately, no one realized then just how bad shit was. The more she remembered how to do, the more her mind started short circuiting on other things. Gradually, she sort of lost it. She’d had a small case of OCD before the accident, from what Aidan told me, but it started growing extreme. It was more than that though. Mika started having panic attacks when someone told her dates or times. She’d watch the clock—literally. If someone was a minute early or late, she’d have a meltdown, throwing tantrums and hitting herself. This progressed into cutting later on as the ‘pressure’ started building in her stomach. Before cutting, there was sex. And that… well, that was a whole other set of issues.”
My stomach roils, but I try to digest his words, processing everything slowly.
“It’s not OCD,” Hunter goes on. “People with severe OCD need routines. The disruption causes irrational agitation. Mika doesn’t need a routine. In fact, she needs the opposite. But she does have some OCD mannerisms.”
He runs a hand through his hair before continuing.
“What makes us rational? No one really knows. What makes us understand it’s ridiculous to throw a fit over something small?” Hunter asks, shrugging. “Whatever it is, Mika lost it. It got to be too much for Aidan. By that time, her dad had already had a stroke, and their mom had offed herself in a jail cell the same night she thought she killed her daughter. Aidan and Mika only had each other. Shit was bad. Worse than bad.”
