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She adjusts her glasses, giving me a cold look. “Okay, then. Fine. However, anyone you hire has to go through me. So, tell your assistant to send her paperwork to me by the end of the day so I can process her into the system.”
“I’ll make a note of that,” I retort.
We glare at each other, stuck at an impasse, then she turns on her heel and leaves.
When she’s gone, I realize I never asked her what she wanted from me in the first place.
After brooding for another half an hour, I get up and grab my coat. “Val, hold my appointments for the next hour. I’m going out.”
Valerie gives me a nod. “Sure thing.”
It’s nearing April. As I exit the building, I let the breeze play with the ends of my coat. It’s almost refreshing. The apartment Caleb has given me is close by. It’s comfortable enough for my needs, but I find myself missing London.
I don’t have any family left, I muse as I find an empty bench in the park nearby. It’s not like I have anyone left. And yet, being here makes me feel empty.
I think of Lana now, ferocious little thing she is, who refuses to let anyone tame her.
It should annoy me that she feels resentful toward me for attempting to move on, especially after telling me that she wants nothing to do with me. But it doesn’t.
It gives me hope.
Hope I want to squash.
Because hope means another opportunity to let someone crush my heart.
And yet, I stare longingly at the couples who are scattered across the park. Does it make me strange I yearn for that again, that connection I thought I had with Nyla, the connection that is vivid and strong and so vibrant with Lana, the way it never was with my wife?
Nyla never opposed me.
She never questioned anything I did.
She liked playing the housewife, preferred leaving the major decisions to me.
Lana is the polar opposite, so fiercely independent, yet trying to hide such stark vulnerability. Yet, she refuses to be coddled. If anyone dares to attempt it, they won’t survive the encounter.
I hadn’t known it was possible to be this enamored by a woman after knowing her for such a brief time. But here I am, so helplessly drawn to this infuriating woman, unable to protect my own heart, which is slipping through my grasp.
Gaze dull, I watch a mother chase her exuberant toddler around the tree across from me.
I hadn’t been lying when I told Lana I intend to leave as quickly as possible. I had lied about the reason, though. I don’t want to give her more time to tighten her grip on my heart.
I need a clean break, I tell myself. A clean break from everyone and everything.
Am I running away?
Maybe.
But I remember the torture I went through two years ago, the way I had hit rock bottom, and how I had crawled my way inch by inch to get where I am now. I knew I was gruffer, my attitude harsher, but I was still trying to walk away from a betrayal and a loss that had torn my world and beliefs into shreds.
My instincts scream if Lana ever got this close to me, the damage she could wrought would be permanent.
So, yes. I’m willing to take the coward’s way out.
“You look like the neighborhood pervert,” comes a familiar voice from my right. I glance over to see Lucas, and he plops next to me.
“Weren’t you supposed to be with Caleb?” I ask idly.
The lawyer stretches his long legs, sighing. “I picked him up from the airport. He’s getting us some hot dogs from the stand.” When I raise my brow, unable to imagine Caleb eating hot dogs like a normal person, Lucas misunderstands my look and adds, “I saw you from where I parked the car. Told him to get you one as well. So…” He gives me a long look. “You seem like you could use a hug.”
