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Lana just watches me and when Elise frowns, the other woman gestures with her hand, forced patience in her voice. “Go try it on.”
Neither of us wants to be here but with Elise forcing us, we don’t want to upset the pregnant woman.
“Fine.” I take the dress in and shimmy out of my clothes. However, as I put on the dress, I get stuck. “Ah, I need a little help here. The hem is stuck in the zipper. I can’t move!”
To my surprise, it’s Lana who enters, saying stiffly, “Let me see.” As she leans down to unhook the hem from the zipper on the back, her eyes fall on my back. Or to be more precise, on the scars on my back.
I make eye contact with her and the horrifying realization that she’s seen something that she wasn’t supposed to, I try to keep my voice steady, “Keep this to yourself.”
“Miss W—Kendall, what are those?” There’s hesitation in her voice.
I immediately turn around, pressing my back to the glass mirror behind me. “Nothing.” I’m trying to breathe evenly. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
She sees the rising panic in my eyes and takes a step back. “I’m just—?”
“No!” I hiss out. “Not one fucking word. Get out!”
Her eyes widen and she swallows before nodding and slipping out.
My breathing is harsh now, my knees feel weak, and I sink to the ground, gripping my head in my hands, saying slowly, “Your name is Kendall West. You’re twenty-seven years old. You have a home, a job, and a family. Nobody can ever hurt you again.”
I repeat the sentences ten times before reaching for my phone and blindly calling up Tracy. I can’t see the number through the blurriness in my eyes that’s coming from the onset of a panic attack, but Tracy can talk me out of it.
I hear the line connect and my words stumble out, laced with fear and unshed tears, “T-Tracy. Tracy, can you talk to me? I-I’m having a really bad one. I can’t – I can’t—” My words get stuck in my throat.
“Kendall!” Caleb sounds taken aback and then there’s calm in his voice, “Where are you?”
To my complete horror, the voice on the other end is the last person I wanted to call.
“Kendall!” Caleb sounds taken aback, and then there’s calm in his voice. “Where are you?”
I scramble back against the glass mirror, as if to physically escape Caleb’s presence, my breathing choppy. “No, shit – Not you – I’m sorry! I was calling – Shit—”
“I want to know where you are, Kendall,” he cuts me off, his voice dangerously even.
I quickly cut the call and toss the phone into the depths of my purse, hoping that it would erase the last thirty seconds. My mind is digressing badly, the force of the panic attack gripping me in its wild throes.
I can’t think.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t take in any air.
My chest is heaving, and my hands are in my hair as I keep repeating, “Y-Your name is Kendall West. You’re twenty-seven years old. Y-You have a home, a job, and a family. N-Nobody can ever hurt you again!”
I don’t know how long I’ve been there when the door opens and a pair of arms is reaching for me, dragging me into a firm male chest, a soothing voice murmuring something in my ear.
Caleb is warm and large, engulfing me in the heat that is purely him. He leans against the wall of the dressing room, and tucking me between his parted thighs, creating a cocoon for me till all I can see and smell and hear is him.
“I’ve got you,” he murmurs in my hair. “Focus on my heartbeat.”
Fear, something alive inside of me makes me shudder.
He wraps himself around me even tighter, if it’s possible. “My heartbeat, Kendall.” His words are a crisp order.
I struggle to obey. The fog in my head slowly starts to dissipate after a few long minutes and my fingers are clenching into his shirt as he keeps stroking my hair and holding me to him. And as the fog clears, I feel dismay and humiliation, simultaneously, and I close my eyes tightly.
“Why did you come?” I refuse to look at Caleb, my voice shaking.
