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A sound from my right makes me scowl. “Why does he have to be here for this conversation?”
Duke smiles amiably. “Because Caleb is shit at telling these things. I asked him and he told me to fuck off.”
“Then maybe you should,” I growl at him.
He just pops a peanut into his mouth. “Nah, I’m good.”
“Tracy!” I call out to her.
My friend shrugs. “I’m not kicking him out. If he hadn’t told me, I wouldn’t even have found out.”
I grumble and shoot Duke a dirty look. “You’re such a tattle tale.”
The bigger man gives me a mocking look back. “I didn’t know you hadn’t told your best friend. I mean, I knew.”
This just gives more cause to see Tracy annoyed and as she starts making little dough balls, she looks ready to murder me. “He has a point.”
I spot a box to her right with my name on it and I lean towards it. “What’s this?”
“Some guy, Jace, from your company came by to drop it off. Nosy little thing. Cute though. Now stop trying to change the subject.”
I give Duke a malicious look. “He is pretty good-looking, isn’t he? Want me to set you up on a date with him, Tracy?”
Duke stiffens.
Tracy frowns. “He’s not my type. Besides, he was a bit too snoopy. He had to use the restroom and I found him leaving your room. Said he got lost.”
I like Jace. He’s been one of the few people who made an effort to befriend me. So, I’m reluctant to share Tracy’s misgivings about him. “Maybe he did get lost,” I respond.
My friend shares a look with Duke before shrugging. “Maybe, but he had a shifty look about him.”
“It’s fine, Tracy. Just leave it,” I say, annoyed.
Tracy meets my eyes and decides to back off, for now. “Fine.” She’s about to say something when Duke’s phone buzzes and he leaves the apartment to take the call.
She waits until he’s gone and then drops the ball she’s been rolling in her palm and leans forward. “All right. What the hell were you thinking?”
I swallow heavily before I answer, “I don’t know, Trace. I just saw him and all these feelings that I’ve been trying to bury just came out and he’s an asshole but to me, he’s kind and loving and he makes me so mad at times and so happy at times, and I just saw him and I saw Harry and then they just blurred together. I don’t want to lose him, and I was scared and overwhelmed, and I just wanted him. Does that make sense?” I look up at her.
She’s giving me this exasperated look which is laced with fondness. “Not at all. But I’ve never seen you take a risk at anything. Caleb must really have stirred you up for you to take such a step.”
I run my hands over the marble counter. “He was so gentle in bed, Tracy. Kept asking me if I wanted him to stop. He says… he said that he wants to marry me. I didn’t answer him. I mean I didn’t know what to say.”
Tracy freezes at this news. “Do you want to marry him?”
I purse my lips. “I would consider that a reckless decision. I’d rather get to know him first, again. But I don’t regret sleeping with him. I love him. I loved who he was, and I love who he is now. I don’t know how I know that I love him. I just do. It’s this thing inside of me. I see him and
I feel like I’ve come home. Do you get that?”
Tracy looks sad for a minute. “I understand part of it. But after Gerald and what happened with him, I’m too scared to trust myself with a man.” She idly pokes a hole in the soft dough in front of her. “I’m not exactly the best judge of character.”
I’ve seen the way she looks at Duke and the way he looks at her, so I ask, “What about Duke? You two seem to be getting along pretty great.”
Tracy glances in the direction of the living area where Max is watching cartoons. “He’s – He’s good with Max. And he’s so wonderful, to be honest. But I don’t know. There’s something there.” And for the first time in a very long time, I see Tracy’s eyes shimmer with tears. “He makes me feel safe, Kendall. It’s been so long since I’ve felt safe and happy like this. And I don’t know what to do. What if it all goes to shit if I start dating him?” She sighs. “There are too many things to sort out in my headfirst to even consider this.”
I understand her reluctance. “I’ve got your back, thick or thin. But I honestly think Duke is good for you. And he’s really bonded with Max.”
Tracy sniffles. “He’s taking him to the seasonal playoffs next weekend. I said I’d go with them, but Max just wanted to go with him. He’s never had a male figure in his life and Duke has just been stepping in.” She gives me a little smile. “He got me a catering gig as well. It’s a small thing. One of Caleb’s friends or something. A private party but he’s offered to help me out with the work.”
