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“That’s very aggressive of you,” I offer her a half smile which is sly.
She narrows her eyes at me.
I shrug. “Who said I never made a move on you?”
She falters, “When? I would have –“
“I was always on your mind, wasn’t I?” My eyes pin her to the spot. “Taking care of you, watching over you. It just wasn’t a sexual overture. As I said, you needed a friend at the time, so I decided to become your friend. And now you’re ready for more, so I just changed tunes.”
She stares at me for a long while before saying softly, “Some people would call this manipulation.”
My arm is stretched over the back of the couch, and my legs are crossed, casually, as I agree, cheerfully, “Those people would be right.”
She looks speechless at that and then she purses her lips. “Sometimes it feels like you show a side of yourself to the world that’s not actually real. As if under the mask lurks someone very dangerous.”
“Are you scared?” I ask, quietly.
“No.” She wraps her arms around herself, looking confused. “If anything, I feel safer.”
I get up and cross the room until I’m standing directly in front of her, looking down at her my hands on her upper arms. “That’s the way it should be. I want everything from you Elise. Everything and more. A relationship, marriage, children, a family.”
I lay my cards on the table.
“It took me a few months with you to realize that. You’ve always been the end goal. But I’m willing to move as slow as you want.”
Her eyes are bright with an emotion that she doesn’t seem to dare to name. Her lips part and then she says, “When Darren had approached me, I had been flattered and when we went on the date, it was fun at first until he took me to the club and kept buying me drink after drink. I never drink like that but he was so handsome and charming… I was so stupid I was pretty drunk when he got me back to his apartment.” She turns her head away as if she can’t bear to look at me. “I wanted to go back home but he kept saying that I lived too far away and that it was too late. When we reached his apartment, he started kissing me. I was too tipsy and at first I tried to stop him but then I just gave up because I didn’t feel so good. I don’t remember most of that night but it wasn’t pleasant in the least. He was too rough. But I do remember asking him to use protection and him refusing.” Tears of shame are welling up in her eyes but not one falls as she grits her teeth.
I can see it’s through her sheer will that she’s trying not to break down. Rage nearly consumes me but my hold on her is light, and I wait for her to continue. She needs to get this whole thing out of her system in one go and I understand that. She squares her shoulders and I can’t suppress the feeling of pride of how strong my woman is.
“The next morning, he woke me up and told me to get dressed. I was so hungover that it took me a while to remember what he’d done and I got upset. He got angry and then he grabbed me by my wrist, dragged me to the front door and tossed me out.”
Now, I see sparks of anger on her face.
“I was just wearing my undergarments. My clothes, my shoes, my purse, they were all inside! I banged on the door for God only knows how long until he tossed out the rest of the things. It was long enough for some of his neighbors to see me.” She swallows as if finding the courage to continue, “I took the weekend to get myself together. But when I went back to work, he ignored me, not saying a word to me as if nothing had happened. Even at the office party, he came over to the group I was standing with and was his usual self. T-That was the day I found out I was pregnant, when you took me to the hospital.”
She went silent for a few moments.
I don’t say anything either, I just wait.
“I told him two weeks later and the rest you know. The rumors started around that ti
me of how I had coerced him into sleeping with me.” She takes a step back. “You’re the only person I’ve told. It’s not that I’m afraid of sleeping with you. I just – I just—that morning when I stood outside begging him to give me my clothes back, while I stood half-naked outside, that memory is in my head. I’m too frightened of being placed in such a situation again. Getting into bed with someone and being forced to do things against your will, I can’t bear to go through it again.” Her lips quiver before she firms them. “I know you wouldn’t do something like that but I can’t stop being scared. I won’t apologize for it.” Her chin is raised as she finishes.
My chest tightens at seeing my brave little warrior, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears as she bares her heart to me. And at the same time, the rage pulsing through my veins can’t be abated as well. While I had known most of the story, I hadn’t been aware of the exact details.
I want to rip Darren Hall apart with my bare hands. I want to find him, corner him outside the office somewhere, twist off his balls and shove him naked onto the street.
The ruthless thought doesn’t bother me but it would be too much to share with Elise, so I press my lips together. “Why haven’t you reported this to Lana?” I know she has a reason and I can guess most of it but I want to hear it from her own mouth.
“If I do pursue this thing, then I’d have to leave because nearly half the female staff here is friends with him and I don’t think any of them have faced something like this at Darren’s hands. I have to protect myself as well, Lucas. You don’t know how vindictive these women can be. I do. Because I’ve been facing them for a year now. It’s best I keep my head down for now.”
“Until when?” I ask, simply.
She’s about to say something but she immediately swallows the words, a flash of guilt on her face. “I’ll figure it out.”
Something I’ll have to think about later.
I pull her with me to the couch and make her sit on it while I sit on the coffee table, facing her. “This is what today was, wasn’t it? You wanted to tell me what had actually happened between the two of you and to ask me whether I intended to use you and toss you away.”
