I let her continue, wanting her to present her argument before I dash it to pieces.
“This whole marriage thing. We’ve only just started dating. Do you really think rushing headfirst into marriage is really the best idea?”
I can hear her trying to sound logical but I don’t see any aversion to the idea of getting married. “Do you want to marry me?” I ask… bluntly.
She looks surprised. “Of course. I love you. Why wouldn’t I…”
I blink, blindsided by her casual declaration, “What?”
She gives me a confused look. “I said, of course I want to.”
I shake my head and round the counter to face her. “No, before that.”
She blushes now, “I love you.”
“You love me?” I breathe out. “Say it again!” There’s a demand in my voice.
She smiles now. “I love you.”
I step towards her until her back is to the wall, “Again.”
She reaches her hands up and caresses my face with a feather light touch. “I love you, Lucas.”
I close my eyes and take a deep shuddering breath, feeling my world is slightly off kilter. I hadn’t expected her to fall in love with me so soon. “That’s why you want to marry me?” I say, faintly. “Because you love me?”
She now looks confused. “Well, of course. Why…” Her expression turns tight and she asks me slowly, “Why else would you think I was willing to say yes?”
Because she had a child to raise? Because she knew I was in love with her? Because she wanted to give Sophie a good life.
Even as I finally give these reasons a voice in my head, I know how wrong these sound. Elise is a woman with a very open heart and if she hadn’t loved me, she wouldn’t have agreed to any of this.
From her pale face, I realize that she’s come to the same conclusions I had. But to her credit, she doesn’t cry or rage. She just watches me with a quiet intensity that is intimidating and yet so sad.
“I see.” Her voice is carefully blank.
I immediately try to salvage the situation, “Elise…?”
She steps back from me and
although the distance is slight, it feels like a gaping chasm. Her voice is polite as she states, “I think you should leave.” She deliberately glances outside. “It’s late.”
I can feel the wall that she’s constructed around her and for the first time since I’ve met her, I don’t know what to do or say. And yet, I try, “Elise, I wasn’t—?”
She lifts a hand, cutting me off with a desolation in her eyes. “I’m very tired, Lucas. Please go home.”
I just can’t bear the look on her face, so I try a different tactic, “What about church tomorrow? Your parents—”
She gives me a brittle smile as hollow as the look in her eyes. “My parents are used to being disappointed by me. What’s one more?”
A sinking feeling in my chest makes me think she’s referring to something aside from the church visit and I can feel all my hard work, all my efforts into obtaining her affection, unraveling.
And I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to say or do to fix this.
She’s more forceful now, wanting me to leave.
And I do.
I do because I’ve made a grave mistake in thinking that she would ever agree to marry someone she didn’t love because that would make her shallow and materialistic in her eyes. I simply loved her and had been willing to gain her, no matter what.