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I leave the room to give her some space to sort out her thoughts, needing some air to cool my own head off as well.
What the hell am I doing?
6
“Why is Tracy ignoring me?” I complain to Kendall, who’s sitting in the back of the car as we both wait for Caleb.
She’s on her phone. “You two make me want to gag.”
“Why’re you such a bitch?” I demand.
“Because it’s seven in the morning and Caleb is forcing me to go with him and he’s being a little bitch as well.”
“I heard my name.” Caleb slides into the car, giving Kendall a bland look.
She doesn’t say anything, just glares at me.
“You should just go on and sleep with Tracy,” he says, when no one offers any information.
I blink at him.
“The car intercom was on,” he points out, dryly.
“Don’t tell him to sleep with her!” Kendall growls. “You sick pervert.”
“I’m your boss.”
“We’re not at the office.”
I roll my eyes at them and drop them off at the airport. There’s an envious pang in my heart as I watch Caleb take Kendall’s bag even as she protests.
Tracy has been actively avoiding me ever since the kiss. I still go around because I pick up and drop Max off from his practices, since we’re going together. His coach broke his leg and Max volunteered me. So, me and another parent are acting as volunteer coaches until the coach recovers.
I don’t mind.
I enjoy spending time with Max. He’s becoming very important to me. Today as I dropped him off to school, he had seemed a bit down and I had asked him why.
“How come everyone has a dad but me?” he had asked, looking miserable.
I hadn’t known what to say to him, so I just nudged him. “I don’t have a dad either, buddy.”
He had looked up at me and had asked me in a small voice. “Why can’t you be my dad? You like my mom, don’t you?” He looked so innocent and vulnerable in that moment.
My heart had gone out to him as he woefully stared at me. “Your mom and I are only friends.”
“But you can be my dad!” Max had insisted, earnestly. “Flynn got a new dad, so why can’t I?”
How did one explain to a five year old that his mother had a distrust of men and I feared falling in love? “Tell you what.” I had compromised. “Why don’t I be your big brother for now? You can tell me anything and we’ll play games and I’ll help you with your homework and everything.”
“You’ll even take me out for ice cream?” he had asked, doubtfully.
I had rubbed his head, promising, “Two scoops of ice cream!”
The conversation still burns in my mind and as I pull into the garage, I spot the gloves in the backseat and something strikes me. I could use those to strike up a conversation with Tracy.
I miss her.
Gloves in hand, I enter the elevator and stare at my image in the glass, practicing aloud, “Hey, I haven’t talked to you in so long. Do you want to—“ No, that just sounds weird. “Want to get some coffee?” That sounds like I’m hitting on her. That’s what got me in trouble the first time. “Max forgot these. While I’m here, mind if I hang out a bit?” That sounds like I have no friends.
