AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Not that it matters to me.
My whole world feels like it has just crumbled around me. I feel dirty and used, and tears shimmer in my eyes. Now and then I glance back at Bryan to assure myself that he is safe and well.
He won’t meet my eyes, and I decide to deal with that part later.
A beautiful, dark-haired woman sits next to Agatha when we walk in, but Fergus doesn’t let her get a word in as he quickly carts me to our room and gestures towards the guest bedroom to my brother.
As the door closes behind us, I hear a husky voice ask, “Is tha–”
I don't hear Agatha’s response in my numb state, only watch as Fergus strips me of my clothes and discards his own before taking me by the hand to the shower. The water is hot and feels good on my skin.
His hands are gentle as he washes me carefully, scrubbing.
His beautiful eyes are dark with an emotion that I can't identify, and I want to ask him, but there is a certain fragility between us, and I don't know what to say. He washes my hair, his firm fingers running through the strands and caressing the scalp as he washes the shampoo out.
I feel delicate and damaged, the hollowness inside me starting to throb, and I let him take care of me. Drying me off with a towel, he bundles me in a fluffy robe and tosses on a T-shirt and sweatpants.
Carting me to the bed, he holds me in his lap, letting my cheek and ear nestle against his chest. I let the steady beat of his heart slowly clam down the inferno raging inside me, and I feel his hands on my back as he whispers, “I’m sorry about Seth.”
I shake my head, my chest aching as if something took a knife and is carving my poor abused heart into shreds. My voice is thick with tears. “I never knew he felt that way. I never knew that he was some gang leader. He’s always been Seth to me: my best friend.”
I take a shuddering breath. “He said that he introduced Bryan into the gang. It was only when Bryan wanted to leave that Seth told him that he couldn’t because he had planned to use my brother to lure me in. If Bryan left, then he would no longer be under Seth’s control. He told my brother that he’d do things to Ruby, horrible, horrible things.”
I take a deep breath and mumble through my tears, “How could I not have noticed? I never did anything to him. I never encouraged him.”
I feel Fergus’s warmth surround me in a cocoon, and his lilting Irish voice makes me feel safe. “He’s a psychopath. He became obsessed with you. This whole empire that he built, it was to make sure that he could force you to stay by his side.
“He’s an intelligent man, and he might not be physically much, but he orchestrated an entire gang and made it into a fully functioning entity; that says a lot about how smart he is.”
I stare at my hands. “Do you think he could have hurt me?”
Fergus sighs, and after a brief silence, mutters, “No. He would have killed Bryan. And he would have killed me. But I don’t think he would have touched you. His love was there, depraved, but it existed. Sarah, none of what happened is your fault. Even Bryan’s decision; your brother is not a child. He made this choice himself.”
“I know,” I speak against his chest, feeling his hand strike my damp hair. “But it feels like my whole world just shattered and I don’t know how to fix anything.”
Fergus cups my face, forcing me to look at him.
He wears a tender smile on his face before swooping down to kiss me. “Who said you have to do this alone? I’ll be right next to you, A ghrá. Every step of the way.”
I shake my head. “No. I made you risk your life today. I can’t. I can’t do that to you. You deserve somebody who won’t keep dragging you along with her stupid baggage.”
He tilts his head, a smile on those beautiful lips of his. “I kind of like you, baggage and all. And–” He pushes me back on the bed until he hovers over me. “I heard that you love me.”
My mouth falls open, and I try to do some damage control, failing like a pro. “You heard wrong.”
He plays with the lapels of my robe. “In my language, A ghrá means ‘my love.’ You don’t just call anybody that.”
My eyes widen. “So, you love me?”
He winces. “I don’t know how, but you managed to lock me down. I want you in my bed, in my life. If you up and leave, right now, I would follow you.”
My eyes shimmer, and he laughs, that delightful deep sound that makes me quiver with need and happiness.
“You stole my heart the day you introduced yourself. I figured you would want me to pay you compensation damages for your injury.” He presses a kiss to my throat, a worshipful touch. “I didn’t know you would settle for my heart.”
“That’s cheesy.” I chuckle through my tears.
He grins down at me. “Only for you, A ghrá.”
