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Under his casual tone lays curiosity and puzzlement, as if he is trying to understand me and failing.
I grit my teeth. “I don’t hate you.”
His smile never shifts, although I see the way his eyes tighten as he says easily, “On the contrary, you do. You’ve never hidden it. What did I do to you that was so bad that you feel the need to make me out to be some sort of monster?”
I gape at him and struggle to say something but nothing comes out.
He continues, “If this is about me making out with a random girl in the club when you came to tell me about your pregnancy, every woman who came after you was a rebound. I regretted letting you slip from my fingers. But at the time, I was not somebody who was stable enough to be in a relationship. But had you told me, instead of leaving, I would have abandoned everything and stuck by your side. I would have gone to every doctor’s appointment. I would have been there for every midnight craving. Anything and everything, Eve.”
There is fury in his eyes now. “But I would never have abandoned you.”
My voice is almost small as I find myself quivering under the anger. “Why not?”
There it is, that pained smile that he sometimes has on when he thinks I am not looking. “Because I was in love with you.”
7
Zayn
Admitting my feelings to Eve was never part of my plan, but she is resisting me so strongly even though the chemistry between us is off the charts. Whatever holds her back, it is something more than just the idea of me.
I love Eve.
That is why I am so terrified of tainting her with what I am.
But this woman who stares at me with an almost horrified expression etched on her face, she was broken and then she emerged from the ashes like a phoenix.
She is so strong and yet so fragile, her fragility was something she chooses to hide under layers and layers, all of which I am determined to peel back. If I loved her before, I can’t help but be captivated by what she has become.
“You loved me?” She sounds so stunned by the idea.
“You’re a fascinating woman; you always have been. You were like a complex puzzle that I couldn’t solve. I craved you like a drug, but I made the conscious decision never to pursue you.”
There it is, the tremble in her hand that she tries to hide from me.
“Why?” She sounds so lost, so confused that I want to bundle her up in my arms.
I didn’t predict this reaction from her.
Maybe scorn, maybe calling me a liar, but not this shock and disbelief, almost as if she thinks she doesn’t deserve to be loved.
That thought makes my eyes narrow in cold anger.
In these five years, somebody hurt Eve, more than just physically, but emotionally, they scarred her, and while she tries to hide it from the world, she can never hide it from me.
I spent these past two weeks, slowly getting under her defenses, showing myself to be so harmless that she can’t help but let her guard down. And right now, her expressions are so honest, so bewildered, that they hurt.
“Because I wasn’t good for you,” I say simply. “I’m possessive, overprotective, a general asshole, and if I decided to keep you, I would have destroyed you. So, I chose to let you go.”
Eve’s brow knits, and I see the flare of annoyance in her eyes now as she says, tightly, “I’m not a possession to keep or throw away.”
“No, you’re not,” I agree. “I apologize for that.”
She huffs, a little unsettled. “You should.”
I can’t help but think how endearing she looks right now, trying to hold onto her anger and failing so utterly, a small frown on her face, and I try not to show my amusement. “I am.”
She is quiet for a few seconds before she scowls. “I want to call you a liar but if I know one thing, it’s that you’re not a liar.”
