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“Hmm?” He glances up at me from where he is breaking the eggs.
“If you sign the annulment papers, you can get back to your life.” Philip looks annoyed.
“Are we still on that?”
I try not to lose my temper.
“I don’t do casual relationships, Philip. And I don’t see how keeping me tied down in a marriage is useful to you.”
He picks up an onion and starts chopping it.
“I don’t want a casual relationship with you. I want the whole package.”
My eyes sting at the words, because I remember someone saying those same words to me a few months ago, and how I thrilled I was to hear them.
Philip’s voice breaks into my thoughts and I look up to see him watching me with an intensity that makes my heart beat just a tad bit faster.
“I’m not Erik, Charlotte. Ten years ago, I told myself I wasn’t good enough for you and I ruined what we had. I should have talked to you. And I didn’t. This time, I’m not going to make the same mistake.”
My breath catches in my throat at his words.
“What do you mean, you thought you weren’t good enough for me?”
I know approaching this topic is a bad idea, but I can’t help it. All those unresolved feelings from years ago are rearing their head.
The knife stops, and Philip stares down at the board, a tormented look on his face.
“I was young and stupid. I had no direction in life, I was just some frat boy who thought the world revolved around him and you were so much more mature. You deserved someone who was more stable. Someone who didn’t remain drunk for days and who didn’t take everything he had for granted. How could I possibly deserve you? I knew that if I had pursued this, I would have ended up hurting you one way or another.” Philip shakes his head. “I was too scared of hurting you.”
A pause.
“And then I went and hurt you even more, driving you away.”
I have no idea what to say to that.
Instinct tells me that these are all just pretty words, and that believing him will set me up for a heartbreak I might never recover from. But a part of me wants to believe him – or
needs to believe him.
Hearing the sound of eggs sizzling over the heat, I look up to see Philip’s back to me, and I say slowly, “That was a long time ago, Philip. We were both different people. I’m not that girl anymore.”
That is true.
He doesn’t know who I am now.
He doesn’t know the events that took place after I walked in on him and that girl.
The decisions I had been forced to make just days later.
“So, let me get to know you, instead of running away from me all the time. Get to know me. I’m not a complete asshole this time round.”
I raise a brow, unable to help myself.
“You mean to tell me you don’t always refuse to sign annulment papers of marriages you impulsively take part in?”
“Smart ass.” A chuckle. I find myself smiling slightly.
As he places the eggs in front of me, I find my stomach grumbling and I dig in with a fork.
