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“I don’t want you to feel that way,” he said, surprising me. “And I don’t want you to think that I feel that way about you or Paige.”

How were we supposed to feel? He’d always been that way, to both of us after Mom died. He may have been hurting, lashed out at us, but we were hurting too and needed him. We needed our dad, not all this judgment he constantly threw at us.

“I’m disappointed by what you did tonight,” he continued. “But I’d be remiss in saying I didn’t have anything to do with it.”

Surprised again, I found his eyes, the man nodding as if to confirm to me what had been said.

His jaw moved. “You ran after that dog because of me and you went into that building because of me, and I own that. I suppose my initial reaction was because of your lies and not the dog itself.”

“I didn’t want to lie,” I said, the truth. I felt I had to because I could never talk to him.

He acknowledged that, lowering his head. “And I feel like you’re being honest about that. I don’t make it easy. I know that.”

He’d said the words towards the window, anywhere but me. This was all hard for him, that I knew, and it was hard for me too. This was probably the longest conversation I had with my dad in a long time. Probably since before Mom died, and we were all a family with Paige.

He dampened his lips. “I didn’t do well with your sister. I gave up on her, and I’d like not to do that with you too.”

Out of his pocket came something pink, something with a silver bell and a name tag. It was a collar, the name “Hershey” clearly written into a bone-shaped dog tag.

“The damn pet store had no reception,” he said, handing the collar out to me. “I would have been here sooner if I’d gotten the hospital’s calls. Your dog’s Hershey, right? Like the candy bar.”

I took the collar, not knowing what to say. I swallowed. “Yeah, that’s right.”

It was so pretty, thoughtful, and nothing like my dad.

He turned his hands to his pockets. “Now, there will be rules with this. There are places in the house she won’t be able to go. You’ll keep her mostly in your room and in the house common areas.”

Completely okay with that, I told him so, my heart squeezing. “I promise,” I said to emphasize I would.

He smiled, just slight but he did. “And I expect you to clean up after her, take her out and feed and water her. That won’t be Rosanna’s job…”

“Rosanna?” I asked.

“Yes, I hired her back after you ran off, and with a handsome raise for the inconvenience. I was angry at you and took it out on her, and I apologized. She’s gratefully agreed to come back, but she won’t be cleaning up after that dog—”

“She won’t.” I shook my head. “She won’t. I’ll do everything. Hershey’s with one of the nurses. They said I could get her after I got checked out.”

“All right, then,” he said. “We should probably go see what’s up with that, then head home. The doctors tell me you’re okay. I’m glad.”

He actually meant that, and for the first time, I believed it. I had no idea what was happening here, but after my dad told me he’d go see what was up with the doctors so I could check out, I didn’t care. I just wanted to stay.

I wanted to try if he did too.

Twenty-One

I had to give it to Mira. She made sure word traveled fast about Royal and me, and what that meant for my reputation at Windsor Prep Academy equated to something similar to what I’d already gone through. I left a lot of bullshit back in my old life, and coming here, starting anew where no one knew me, that had been the one relief about starting over. No one did know me. No one knew my past, and I thought I left that life back in LA. It all came back with Mira’s not-so-tall tales about Royal and me at McAlester’s Pumpkin Patch, but the difference was I didn’t regret what happened between Royal and me. I didn’t own up to it since it was no one’s business, but I wasn’t ashamed I’d done it. I’d wanted to be with him that night because I’d trusted him. He hadn’t gone out there with certain intentions. Us being together just happened, and because of that, the rumors that followed me now didn’t break me. They didn’t roll off my back by any means, but their foundations were different. Therefore, the way I handled them was different.

It only helped that I had friends who actually stuck by me this time rather than run away with the rumor mill. Birdie and the rest of the basketball team hung in there with me. They stood up for me when everyone else either whispered around me or stopped talking completely when I walked into the room. They didn’t stop talking to me and hassled anyone who did. I had Amazon-sized women acting as a force around me, and I had to say, it felt pretty damn good.

The days in Maywood Heights started to feel good. At least when it came to everything but Royal. He was still around, and I saw him, but we didn’t talk to each other. We were like passing ships, a lot of words whispered around us, but none of them shared between us. He actually missed quite a few days of school after the fire, the thing deemed a freak accident in the end. It turned out the fire had been completely electrical, and from what I understood, Royal was fine but had been missing classes for some reason. I saw him more in the days leading up to homecoming. He’d been at the pep rallies and, of course, at the parade with the rest of the Court jocks. He rode on the lacrosse float while I stood at the sidelines. He looked at me then, looked at me long with a bare chest covered in spirit paint and a face sectioned off in the tones of navy and orange. So many unspoken words were between us.

&n

bsp; At least on my part.

I opted out of the homecoming dance itself. Besides the fact that no one asked me (oddly enough, being the girl Royal Prinze slept with left me pretty lonely when it came to dates), I’d been focusing more on school and home life. I tried to be home when my dad got in, just trying to be around, and I noticed he did too. He didn’t work late for the most part, and his weekend trips and social events were few and far between. He was trying too, and though he wouldn’t admit it, I caught him tolerating Hershey quite a few times. When she nipped as his leg, he didn’t stop her. He even fed her some of his breakfast in the morning instead of toeing her away. He was learning to live with me and a dog, and we were learning to do the same.

Birdie: I can’t believe you’re not going to the dance tonight! I’m going to feel so bad about posting everything online with you at home. :(

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