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We met in the middle of my bedroom, my hand on my towel while I watched her. She watched me too, the pair of us drinking each other in like we hadn’t had a fucking taste of anything in days.
“Why are you here?” I asked her, hating her for being here. She couldn’t be here, would mess things up, but even still, I let her approach. Her fucking flowery smell consumed my lungs, choking me because I couldn’t have it and her.
How much I wanted her, the girl a goddess and everything I should have ever stayed away from. Even from the beginning of all this.
Dark eyes studied me in a dimly lit room, pink lips pouting and perfect. She wet them before crossing even more into my space.
She touched me.
My face at first, both hands, and they felt like such fucking heaven I wanted to melt beneath her. I wanted to worship her, beg her for her forgiveness. I wanted to beg her for hurting her and doing what I felt I had to do.
Her hands stopped around my eyes, one eye as she placed fingers beneath. Those scars had faded, but the deeper ones lingered beneath.
“Did he hit you?” she asked, her beautiful face cringing. “Did he hit you the day of the fight because of me?”
How could she even know that
? That pretty much every strike that came from my dad lately had been because of things I’d done in connection to her. They weren’t her fault, though. Choices I had made and not her.
I nodded because she asked me a question, but only that. I’d stood by what I had done and didn’t regret it. I’d do anything for her.
Her touches continued on, and it started to hurt but not physically. Mentally and emotionally, it pained me to the point of explosion. I couldn’t have her, too much at stake.
“Stop,” I rasped, but leaned into every one of her touches, telling her the exact opposite of what I said. She knew what I wanted, no mystery between us. Even still, I fought it, eventually pulling her back by her shoulders…
Only to ultimately tug her closer.
I grabbed her by the back of her neck, releasing my towel and pressing my body up against hers. She gasped in response, her breath stolen away, and I picked her up, wrapping her legs around me.
“Em…” I pressed her down on my bed, leaning myself into her. I fucking shuddered on top of her like I’d never touched a girl before.
She kissed me, breathing life into me with every one of her soft kisses. She didn’t just take my mouth but my cheeks and my neck. I groaned for lack of impatience, immediately unzipping her coat and pulling it off her.
I threw it, her body so curvy and perfect even with her clothes on. I pressed my face between her breasts, breathing her in through her sweater.
“Why are you here?” I rasped, bunching her shirt up, then taking it off. I kissed her right between that supple valley, her bra lace and chest beautiful. “Why?”
She was ruining this for me, ruining everything. I couldn’t be who I had to be with her in my life. I couldn’t do what I had to do. She kept me from crossing a line I needed to cross, and I couldn’t allow that.
I came up, brushing her nose, and she stopped me, her hands sliding across my face, then through my hair like fucking heaven.
“I want to be, Royal,” she said, trembling too, and then she made me look at her, studying me almost in awe. She looked at me like I wasn’t a monster.
She looked at me like I had a soul.
Pulling me down, she parted my lips, sighing hard into the kiss. “I love you,” she said, then again and again. “I love you.”
She loved me, my insides caving the rest of the way. I thought I’d travel into the depths…
Surprised when the other side turned into light.
So much clarity hit me, so many things coming into full circle. There was me and this girl, and that was damn everything.
I braced her, kissing everything away, my pain, my suffering. It all lessened with every kiss and taste.
“I fucking love you,” I admitted to her, the truth for so long. It was all before me like fucking reality. I loved her, and I’d loved her for so long. I gripped her to me. “I love you, Em.”
She trembled once again, her bra strap sliding beneath my fingers. I pulled it away, kissing her right there on her shoulder.
