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Royal led his team to victory again and again. I knew because I’d been at every one of those games. I showed up for him and in more than one way. I was there for his show on the field, the place he went to get out of his head. I was there for one of the few joys he had while putting away the troubles of the past. That’s all he could do. That’s all all of us could do. Eventually, we had to put our search to bed. Eventually, we had to move on and heal, and he’d taken that the most hard. He didn’t want to let go, and though I didn’t either, we had to move on.
We couldn’t be chased by ghosts forever.
My aunt Celeste had eventually come down. She’d moved in temporarily with my dad and me, and crazy enough, that had been a positive change. It’d been positive for me, nice to come home and food would be made and a familiar face there. She and Rosanna were like a tag team, the house filled with laughter so much of the time. Rosanna even got some time off with my aunt there and my aunt hadn’t driven my dad up the wall. If anything, the switch had been nice for him too. He was home so much more, many dinners where we would sit and eat together, and when Aunt C. eventually had to go back to California and work, my dad had been the first one to offer to help her get to the airport. He even hugged here there, longer than I ever thought he would. They were moving on, healing.
I attempted to do the same, watching from the bleachers while Royal scored points for his team. He had a freight train of muscle out there with him, LJ, Jax, and Knight always having his back. They were such good friends to him. They were such good friends to me. I called out to them all from the stands, waving, and on occasion, I got one back from all of them. They always looked out for me…
Oh, yeah, and one more.
Ramses eased across the field, only a full stride to every four of five of the opposing team. He clipped one of the Knightwood Prep boys with his shoulder, sending him down for the count and allowing Royal and crew to breeze by for our side. After, Ramses found me in the stands, flashing me a little teeth before picking up his feet and charging on with the rest of the team.
I shook my head at him, still floored that he’d decided to go out for the team. I’d honestly been flabbergasted when he told me about his intent toward the end of winter. I mean, he fucking hated Royal, and though my boyfriend wasn’t too keen on him either, the two had been surprisingly getting along and not just on the field. It’d been like my aunt and my dad in that sense, the pair clearly putting up with each other for me, but they had been doing that. Royal got over the fact whenever Ramses made his way over to our lunch table, and Ramses the same when he chose to sit at our lunch table. Ramses definitely had his own clique, still one of the most popular guys on the Court and at Windsor Prep, but he did take time sometimes to sit with us. And when he did, the two guys put up with each other, they played on the same team both on and off the field. There seemed to be a sort of truce after everything went down, and it only helped me. I’d missed Ramses, one of my good friends, and dare I say, he’d missed me too? He’d said he joined the lacrosse team because it’d look good on his college applications, but since he hadn’t given a fuck all year about grades or anything since he was so far ahead, I called bullshit on that. I only didn’t fight him on what he said because I did miss him too, the loser.
Smirking, I waved at him, calling out his name and clapping for him. We were
up in points, and though lacrosse hadn’t been Ramses’s forte, he quickly matched Royal, Jax, Knight, and LJ in skill on the field. Ramses, though a complete nerd, was obviously a seasoned sportsman. He was a jack-of-all-trades. He was good and told me he’d actually had a few recruits come out for him at today’s game. He was getting money thrown at him from everywhere apparently, and that only made me laugh. No one nicer could deserve it.
I stayed huddled with a lot of the girls this game, the breeze cool and filled with earthy, floral scents. It was so nice to have anything but winter and sadness, and I got even more of that when suddenly Kiki, Shakira, and I were joined by Birdie.
“I got in!” Birdie waved something our way, a paper in her hand as she scaled the bleachers. She’d been late to today’s game for a reason. Her dad said she’d gotten a college letter from Princeton. Of course, after school the first thing she’d done was go home. She’d said she would meet us at the game.
Apparently, she’d gotten into her dream school.
So excited for her, Kiki, Shakira, and I leaped up, grappling her like a band of idiots. We all nearly fell off the stands, and at that moment, our side scored yet another point against Knightwood Prep. The whole crowd freaked out, which was so funny with Birdie’s news. It was like they all cheered for her.
“Let’s see it,” I nudged, the letter passing between us. It was legit. Birdie was in, and we hugged her again. She’d been talking about Princeton for months, seriously her dream school.
“I know, right?” She had a flurry of brown curls in her face, pushing them away. “Ah! This is really happening. Dad says we’ll take a road trip over there during the summer. Isn’t that amazing?”
It was, and she immediately went into the details, explaining the scholarship she got for playing basketball. All the girls did. Kiki was going to UCLA, and Shakira got in at Northwestern. These girls were all making their dreams come true, and though I’d decided to stay here and go to community college, I was okay with that. I hadn’t wanted to leave, not ready yet. I hadn’t found my place in the world and didn’t want to make any moves until I did. I felt something was keeping me here.
I gazed out on the field, watching as chiseled legs and muscular thighs charged down it. Royal threw his hand through sweaty blond locks, someone else whose plans were uncertain to me. After everything at the jewelry store, we hadn’t talked about anything serious, his own college plans under wraps even to me. I think it was still just all too much, my mind still on my sister, Paige, more than I wanted.
I couldn’t let go of her, even now. I fell out of the conversation with my friends, hugging an item that came with me to the game. My sister’s journal never left my side, always there with me, and I smoothed my hands over the pages. I’d actually been drawing in it lately, my little squiggles nothing compared to my sister’s, but I did like it. It helped me feel connected to her as weird as that may sound.
I studied all those pictures of eyes she’d drawn, the cute little sad eyes I filled in for her. I drew expressions to accompany them, making them human, making them real. I tried to draw happy faces at first, but they always ended up being sad. I had no idea if that’d been because of me or her.
“Oh my goodness, it is her. December!”
A wave and two ladies at the foot of the bleachers gained my attention. They were mirror images of each other, one wearing a nice blouse with a cardigan and the other in a pair of shorts and heeled pumps. The one in pumps waved at me, her black hair flying across her face in the wind. I hadn’t seen Mrs. Hastings and her twin sister, Daisy, recently, but I waved at them back.
Getting my attention, Daisy grabbed Mrs. Hastings, known to me as Lena. Lena used to be my sister’s guidance counselor way back when. Elena seeing me too, she waved in my direction.
“Is that Mrs. Hastings?” Kiki asked, the goddess waving herself. I swear the girl needed to be an international model with her height and lovely, long hair. All the girls around me ended up waving at the pair, obviously acquainted with them as my sister had been. We all waved for them to join us, and the twin women made their way up the stands. I wasn’t surprised to see them here at all. I mean, the whole town came out for these games.
“Hey.” I hugged Lena since she’d gotten up here first, then Daisy. “You guys come out to represent the king today?”
The king was our mascot, out there too in his gorilla suit. It was the same symbol that donned the Court rings and used to scare me until I wore one around my neck. It was Royal’s ring, a very precious gift to me, and I hadn’t feared it for a long time. Embracing it turned out to be just what I needed.
“Of course,” Lena said, then also hugged Kiki, Shakira, and Birdie. I wasn’t surprised to see them all so friendly. I hadn’t known Lena long, but she really seemed like such a sweetheart. She pulled back from my friends. “How have you girls been? You look great!”
“Thank you. We’re good. And look,” Birdie squealed, flashing her acceptance letter. “I just got into Princeton!”
Genuine joy flashed across Lena’s face as she eyed the letter. She took a seat between Birdie and me, smiling as she read. “Birdie Arnold, why am I not surprised? Congratulations, honey. What about the rest of you girls? I’m sure you got into just as good of a school.”
The others detailed just how good those schools were, and each and every announcement flashed so much pride across Lena’s face. Eventually, the conversation drifted over to me and my plans, and after I explained my intent to stay here and go to community college, Lena bumped my shoulder. “Don’t sound like that. That’s completely fine too. You’ll get a great education, and when you transfer, schools will be clamoring for you. My sister and I both attended community college before transferring.”
“Yeah, even though only one of us finished,” Daisy stated, but did say it with a laugh. She’d sat on my other side, and Lena reached over and pinched her.
