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“What did you expect, Sawyer?” Claire asked, placing her hand on my shoulder. Her words were harsh, but her tone was laced with sympathy. “You should’ve told us. We could’ve done this properly. Now… it’s all such a mess.”
“I’m sorry.” What else could I say?
“We’ll sort it. We always do, right? If we can get past Matt stumbling into a church, stoned and with his pants around his ankles, we can get past pretty much anything.” I laughed at the memory. Sometimes I really don’t know how the fuck we’ve put up with him all these years. “Neil will escort you upstairs. Shower and sleep. We’ll organise a meeting in the morning – plan where we go from here.”
“Thanks, Claire,” I said, sincerity oozing from my every pore. I pulled her into an impromptu hug, forgetting the fact I was covered in blood and smelt like shit.
“You boys are like sons to me,” she whispered before pulling away. My jaw dropped a little, stunned by her honesty. I always knew we meant a lot to her, to most of us she’s like the mum we never had…but she’s never really been one for sappy shit, so to hear the words on her lips made my heart swell. “Neil!” she called with authority. “Take Sawyer to his room.”
“You okay, bud?” Neil asked as we made our way to the lift.
“Yeah,” I replied casually. I wasn’t really okay, a lot of shit would be coming my way, but for the first time in years, if not ever, I knew I was going to be.
Chapter Eighteen
Eight days later…
“Fuck, dude…” Matt groaned, falling backwards onto the large leather couch in my hotel room. We’re still in Sydney, waiting for Jake to be discharged from hospital. “I’m in so much fucking trouble.”
“Ah, Jesus, Matt, what the hell have you done now?”
“It’s what I haven’t done.”
“Care to elaborate?”
“I’ve been fucking the same pussy for over a week. Fuck, dude, I can’t even think about any other pussy. She’s…I mean…I can’t get her out of my damn mind.”
Oh fuck. Matt was falling in love. God help the poor bitch.
“So what? You love her?”
“FUCK NO! Whoa, dude, don’t say shit like that to me.”
“But you like her?”
“I really fucking like her. She does this thing with her tongue where-”
“Yeah you can spare me the details.”
“Oh yeah, forgot you’re a ring raider these days.”
I think I found Matt’s acceptance the most surprising. He was always the first to poke fun at the ‘faggots’, the ‘fudge packers’ and the ‘back door bandits’ of the world. What I should’ve realised long ago however, is that he spouts derogatory shit about everyone. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like them, it’s just his way - you know, given the fact he’s a natural born asshole. Asshole or not, he’s a fucking good friend.
“Well what are you gonna do when we leave here? Australia’s a pretty long way away from LA.”
I knew exactly what he was going to do of course – move onto the next one.
“I don’t know, Saw. I feel like I’m not ready to leave her. How fucked up is that?”
“She got a name?”
“Belle,” he said dreamily, closing his eyes. Jesus, I think he really is in trouble. “You know, like Elle, but with a B.”
“Yeah, Matt. I get it.” Man, he’s hard work sometimes. “Speaking of Elle, she’ll be here soon, so piss off back to your own room.”
“Is my raw sexual magnetism making you uncomfortable?”
“Yeah, that’s totally it. Now fuck off.”
“Whatever, dude. Give Elle a lick from me.”
“Over Belle already?”
“No, but I have to flirt with Elle. It’s practically the fucking law.”
Once Matt had left I checked the time, noting I had about twenty minutes before Elle was due to get here. After catching up with her I planned to visit Jake, then I had an interview booked with Gold Magazine. The media circus surrounding my sexuality still hasn’t calmed down, although the press have given up camping outside the hotel. Claire has arranged a guest appearance on The Levi Davidson Show in three weeks time which I’m nervous as shit about, but also looking forward to getting my views across without fear of them being skewed like is often the case with the written word.
The most nerve-wracking part of today though, was that I had a visiting order to see Jerry at 4PM this afternoon. I was awake most of the night trying to decide what I would say to him, only to decide I’d just have to figure it out when I get there.
The day after Jake was shot I gathered his things from his room and brought them into my own. I was packing him a bag, tossing in some clean underwear, when I heard the door to my suite open. I didn’t even have chance to turn around before Elle’s squeals pierced my ears.
“I’m so sorry I couldn’t come sooner!” she wailed, throwing herself into my arms.
“Need… to… breathe, gorgeous girl,” I teased, purposely rasping because she was clinging to me so tightly.
“Sorry,” she muttered, smiling. “I just can’t believe what’s happened. You could’ve died, Sawyer. Jake could’ve died. God, just thinking about it…”
“Don’t think about it. It’s over now.”
“Are you still planning to see him today?”
“Yes. I am. I have to, Elle. I know nobody seems to understand but I need to know why he did it.”
“Um, because he’s fucking crazy! Sawyer, there’s never an acceptable reason for stalking and plotting to murder someone!”
“I know that. And maybe you’re all right, maybe I won’t achieve anything by going. If I don’t however, I’m always gonna wonder what the bastard had to say.”
“I’m sorry, Sawyer. I’m sorry you’re having to go through any of this.”
“Let’s change the subject,” I suggested. “I’ve been drowning in serious shit for weeks… I need to talk about something ‘normal’.”
I headed towards the couch and plopped myself down. Elle grabbed us two bottles of water from the fridge and then followed suit.
“Well,” she began. “I’m not sure this could be classed as ‘normal’ but Ry landed that deal he was after.”
