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“Why, Jerry?” I demanded, my voice so forceful it burned the back of my throat. “What the fuck did you want from me?”
“I wanted you to have nothing. Just like I have for all these years, because of you.”
“What the hell are you talking about? How am I responsible for your fuck up of a life?”
“This fucking lifestyle you’re leading? That should’ve been mine. I was your manager, and a fucking good one. You think you’d have gotten noticed by the big guys if I hadn’t set you up with all those gigs? I was on course to have everything. I did so fucking much for you. Set you up with your equipment, rented rehearsal space from my own fucking pocket, not to mention the fact I had to put up with your whiney bitch of a mother for all those years.”
“You know what, screw this,” I said, standing from my chair. I was stupid and naïve to believe I would leave here with some sense of understanding or reason. Elle was right, there is no rational reason behind what he did. “You ruined your own future, Jerry, when you laid your hands on my mother!”
“She’s been asking for it for years. You know that as well as I do.”
“I hope you fucking rot in here,” I spat, scraping my chair legs against the floor as I pushed away from the table.
“It won’t last, Sawyer,” he called as I made my way to the door. “One day you’ll wake up and it’ll all be gone.”
I laughed at the poignancy of his words. Part of me wishes it would all be gone when I wake up tomorrow. This life - the fame, the money, the constant intrusion… I’m starting to think I just don’t want it anymore.
“What’s going to happen to him?” I asked the detective whose name I couldn’t remember. “Will he be extradited?”
“I doubt it. I’m sorry I can’t give you much information right now, but I assure you you’ll be kept fully involved throughout his case.”
“What about Laurelin?”
“My guess is she’s probably going to get off lightly, but again, I will tell you more as the case goes on.”
“But are we free to leave here? Head back to the States?”
“Yes, of course. We’ll be liaising with the LAPD and Cumbria Constabulary in the UK so providing the details we hold for you are up to date, we’ll be able to contact you when needed.”
“I have no idea.” Hell, I don’t even know my own phone number. “I’ll get our PR manager to call you.”
“This isn’t over, Sawyer!” I stiffened at the sound of Jerry’s voice. He growled my name with such malevolence as two wardens dragged him past me, kicking and yelling, towards the floor to ceiling bars that led to the next part of the building.
“I need to get out of here,” I muttered under my breath, wiping the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand.
“Wait up, Saw!” Neil called after me as I charged towards the exit. I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. I needed out of this hellhole. I needed air, I couldn’t breathe.
The second fresh air hit my face I filled my lungs, sucking deep as I doubled over, bracing my hands on my knees.
“What happened?” Jake’s voice startled me. I’d forgotten he was waiting for me in reception and I realised I must’ve sped straight past him. “Sawyer, look at me,” he encouraged, gently pulling on my arm. I straightened my back and looked him in the eye, instantly feeling calmer. “You okay, babe?”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “Yeah I just… hell, I don’t know. It was weird seeing him again I guess. But you were right, the whole thing was pointless.”
“But you’ve been, and it’s over. You don’t have to wonder ‘what if’ anymore. No regrets?”
“I’m not sure yet. I just want to go home, Jake. I’ll think about it later.”
Cocking his head, Jake led me back to the car. We climbed inside, and as soon as he closed the door behind him, he leaned across the back seat, taking me in his arms.
“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered in my ear, cradling my body against his.
“Proud of me?” I questioned, pulling back so I could see his face but keeping hold of his arms. “For what? Letting you get shot for me?”
“I’m not talking about that, babe. I mean this,” he said, motioning his hand over us. “We’re in a car, in public, and you’re letting me hold you. I know you weren’t ready for this yet, it was thrust upon you, but still you’re doing it. You’re embracing it, and for that, I’m proud of you.”
For a few minutes we did nothing but hold each other. We didn’t talk, or kiss, we just…were. It didn’t last nearly as long as I’d have liked however. Neil came strolling back to the car, pausing outside while he talked on his phone.
“Hey, Jake?” I asked quietly.
“Um hmm?”
“Did the hospital say how long it would be until you could, you know, do stuff?”
“What kind of ‘stuff’, Sawyer?” he probed mischievously, grinning devilishly at me.
“I think you know what kind of stuff.”
“Are you saying you want to fuck me, baby?”
“God yes,” I breathed, my dick bulging just from the thought. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“I’m sure if you’re gentle with me, we’ll be just fine.” He winked and my heart pounded in my chest, working hard to pump the blood that was rushing straight to my cock.
“You guys ready?” Neil opened the door, slipping inside the car and snapping me back into the real world.
“Sure,” I said, wondering if my face gave away how flustered I was. “Tell Claire I’ll catch up with her in the morning. I don’t want to be disturbed tonight.”
“Too much fucking info, man.”
“No I didn’t mean… I mean… oh fuck it, yeah that’s just what I meant.”
Jake laughed, such a sweet sound and one I hadn’t heard nearly enough, but then pressed a palm to his chest.
“Shit, laughing hurts.”
Good job everything I had in store for him tonight didn’t involve any laughing whatsoever.
