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“Seriously where did this idea that I’m a total dumbass come from? I could’ve gone to college!”
“Could have?”
“Well, I guess it might have helped if I’d passed my SAT’s…”
“You mind if I take my stuff upstairs?” I asked once I’d finished laughing, solemnly looking down at the single backpack that contained my whole life.
“Sure. This place is yours too as long as you’re here. No need to ask, dude. Oh and Alex is coming over later. That okay with you?”
“Sure. It’s your house.” I turned slightly, planning to head on upstairs to find a room, but curiosity got the better of me. “What’s the deal with you and Alex?”
“The deal?”
“You guys don’t have much in common, yet you seem to have gotten pretty close.”
“Actually we kinda do. Sure, he likes dick, I like pussy, but we just gel, ya know? Same taste in music, movies, same sense of humor. Or he’s not offended by my sense of humor at least. Suppose it just makes a refreshing change. I’d spent ten solid years with no one but the guys, now they’re all movin’ on and it’s nice to have someone to hang out with.”
“And you’re sure he’s not crushing on you?” I joked.
“Hell no! I mean…no. Of course he’s not. Holy shit, you don’t think…”
“I’m just fucking with you, Matt.”
“But wait, why wouldn’t he be? I’m hot, right?”
“Just because he’s gay doesn’t mean he’s attracted to every man ever to walk the earth.”
“Hmm.”
“You’re not seriously offended, are you?” I asked, unable to suppress the laugh that burst from my throat.
“Yeah, I think I kinda am. Fuck, maybe I do need to find me some hot pussy after all.”
“Okay I’m gonna leave you to think about that while I dump this stuff in my room.” Smiling at the look of rejection on Matt’s face, I turned and headed up the spiral staircase in the center of the room.
Walking straight past Matt’s room, I went to the end of the hall. Of course, just like all the other bedrooms, this one had mirrored ceilings. I looked up at my reflection for a few seconds before tossing my bag onto the king-sized bed, then I peered into the empty closets and the en suite bathroom, familiarizing myself with my surroundings. At the foot of the bed there was a large bay window overlooking Matt’s pool. The clear water rippled softly in the slight breeze and I made a mental note to take a dip in that baby before I left.
Backing up and sitting down on the edge of the mattress, I huffed into my shoulder. I felt emotionally drained and decided I would give up looking for a place to live today, but wouldn’t stop tomorrow until I’d found somewhere. Flopping back onto the bed so I was lying down with my hands locked behind my head, my mom popped involuntarily into my mind. I wondered what she’d think of me right now, whether she’d be disappointed or proud that I was trying my fucking best to survive without her.
I missed her. I always missed her. My mom was an incredible woman – so brave and strong. And she knew me. She got me, and she loved me unconditionally. When I really thought about it, I realized she was the only person who ever had. I remember spending months building up the courage to tell her I was gay when I was fifteen years old. Her words of love and support echoed as loud in my mind today as they did back then.
“Oh, have you found someone nice?” she asked with a curious smile.
“Not yet. But… I just know.”
I’d expected her to say something like, I couldn’t possibly know for sure if I hadn’t dated a girl yet, or maybe even tell me I could grow out of it. But instead she just smiled sweetly and nodded.
“Of course you do. It’s your mind and your body, honey. If it’s telling you something you have to listen to it.”
“So… you don’t mind?”
“Don’t be so silly, Mason. You’re my son and I love you. Why would you think that?”
“Dunno.” I shrugged nervously. “Guess I thought you’d try and convince me it was a phase.”
“Oh I don’t believe that. You never hear of young boys bringing their first girlfriend home and their parents telling them liking girls might be a phase. I don’t see why this should be any different. Are you happy, honey?”
“Yeah. Yeah I am.”
“Then nothing else matters. Now go and get cleaned up. Supper will be ready soon.”
“I love you, Mom.”
Bringing me into a tight hug, she held me close and kissed the side of my head. “I love you too, Mason. Always and forever.”
A knock on the bedroom door startled me out of my reverie. I jolted upright on the bed, hollering ‘Come in!’ as I did.
