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“You smell amazing everywhere,” he says.
I laugh, but then Rex unbuttons my jeans and nuzzles my crotch and my laugh turns breathless. He kisses my belly and then lower, taking me in his mouth. His mouth is hot and slick and his tongue wraps around my shaft, cradling me. His hands rub up and down my thighs as he takes me deeper in his mouth. It feels amazing, but something’s off. Rex has his eyes squeezed shut and his hands are opening and closing on my legs convulsively.
“Rex,” I say. “You okay?” I run a hand over his brow.
He pulls back and nods.
“Sure,” he says. “Let’s go to bed.”
He grabs my hand and walks toward the bedroom. When he has me down on the bed he starts stripping my clothes off single-mindedly, the crease in his forehead deepening. He kisses me deeply and I moan into his mouth. I pull off his sweater and T-shirt to find his chest flushed and hot. He’s all heat and vibration and movement. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was afraid I was going to leave any second. The intensity in his eyes is half passion and half concentration. His mouth is everywhere. Hot on my neck and shivery over my nipples. He licks into my belly button and nibbles my hip bone. Then he’s back, kissing me as I kick off my pants and unzip his.
He palms my ass, kneading the flesh and sliding down to lick at the head of my erection. He’s like a tornado, trying to engulf every part of me in sensation.
I can’t reach his pants to get them off and he turns around and pulls at them in frustration, swearing when they get caught around his knees. Every muscle in his back is tense and his hands are shaking when he turns back to me. I sit up and then go up on my knees so I can look him in the eye. He’s breathing heavily and his eyes are darting all over the room.
I put a hand on his jaw and kiss him softly. Something is definitely wrong. It’s like Rex was trying to distract me with his body so I’d forget about what he’d told me. I look at him. His muscles, his strength. Maybe they aren’t just to feel safe physically. Maybe his body is something he feels like he can offer even with his dyslexia.
“Thank you,” he says shakily. He sounds so nervous.
I cock my head to ask for what.
“Just… for not saying I’m pathetic or stupid.”
“Fuck, Rex, no way. You’re not! I could never think that.”
He’s nodding, but not in agreement. More to say, okay, whatever. I should know. I’ve done it often enough when I don’t really believe someone but want the conversation to go away.
I cup his cheeks and kiss him again.
“Shh,” I say. “It’s okay.”
I kiss one corner of his mouth and then the other, then I kiss him again. I kiss him over and over, each time a little longer and a little deeper until finally he opens his mouth. His tongue comes out to touch mine tentatively, like we’ve never done this before. I push Rex onto his back on the bed and his hair splays out on top of his sweater, the dark strands beautiful against the light wool. If this were a scene in a book, it would look like a halo.
I kiss Rex deeply, trying to put everything I feel into it—how much I want him to trust that I don’t think he’s stupid. How wonderful he is. How grateful I am that he likes me, for whatever reason. How strong he is. I kiss him until his arms come around me, heavy weights against my back, and he starts rocking his hips up into mine. His eyes are glazed and he looks tired.
I reach between us and cup his erection in my hand, stroking softly. A full-body shiver runs through him and he bites his lip.
“What do you want, baby?” I ask him. “Please, I’ll do anything you want.”
Rex opens his mouth and closes it again, hesitating. He closes his eyes and spreads his knees so that our erections rub together.
“I… I want.” His voice is scratchy and I can hear him swallow.
I brush his hair back and look into his eyes.
“You want me to fuck you?” I ask, and his hardness jumps in my hand. His eyelids drift shut for a moment, then flutter open. He nods, shakily.
Arousal shoots through me at the thought of burying myself inside Rex’s tight body. The idea of opening him with my cock, turning all that muscle to a quivering puddle of pleasure makes me dizzy with lust.
“Oh fuck yes,” I say, and I kiss him, letting him feel how much I want him. “I’ve thought about you like this so many times,” I say.
