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Rex’s eyes go very soft.
“You feel like a relief too, Daniel,” he says.
I decide to take Ginger’s advice, pushing down the roiling fear of rejection in my gut. “Hey, Rex?” I ask. “What are you doing for Thanksgiving?”
“Nothing,” he says, his eyes narrowing.
“Would you want to maybe have it with me?” I try my best to keep my tone casual so he doesn’t feel any pressure to say yes.
“Yes,” Rex says instantly. “Yes, please.” He kisses me hard and pulls me into his arms.
“I like this whole not overthinking thing,” I tell him.
SO, YEAH, this week has been pretty great until I run into Will at Mr. Zoo’s when I go to invite Leo to Thanksgiving. And I remember that he knew about Rex’s dyslexia and purposely hid it from me. Until I remember that he’s touched Rex and therefore I hate him. Okay, so, apparently I’ve also turned jealous and irrational this week. At least where Rex is concerned.
Will and Leo don’t notice me at first. Leo’s behind the counter and Will is leaning on it, his chin in his hand as Leo talks quietly. When I wave, Leo turns bright red, as if I’ve caught him doing something he shouldn’t be. Will just straightens up and levels me with a look that dares me to tease them about their obvious flirting.
“Hey, Daniel, how’s it going?” Leo asks, fiddling with the tape dispenser.
“Can I have a word?” I say to Will, and walk back outside before he can answer.
“Let me guess,” Will says, as he leans against the shop window. “This is about Rex.”
Now that he’s standing in front of me I don’t know what the fuck I’m thinking. What I want to say is, “Why didn’t you fucking tell me about Rex’s dyslexia!” But, why would he? He barely knows me. Rex was his lover. It’s not his place to say a goddamned thing. But I’m so angry with him for knowing and so angry with myself for not noticing that I say it anyway.
“Excuse me?” Will says.
“Fuck!” I say. “I know, I know. Never mind. Goddammit!”
“Look, Daniel, everyone Rex has ever cared about either died on him or left town, okay? Then, here’s you. The hot professor from Philly who’s slumming it in our little town until something better comes along. I mean, I get it; I do. You’re so Rex’s type it isn’t even funny. The perfect lost cause. I’m not surprised he’s all over you like a dog on a bone. But, before you come in here with your accusations and your self-fucking-righteous demands about Rex, I want to ask you one question. Are you here to stay? Or the second the ivory tower says jump are you going to say From what window?
“Because, in case you can’t tell, Rex thinks you might just be passing through. I can tell just by looking at you together: he’s hung up on you something good, but a part of him won’t let himself open up to you because he thinks you’ll be fucking out of here on the next train. Frankly, I’m shocked he told you about his dyslexia. And if I were a betting man, I’d say he didn’t. I’d say it came up some other way and he was too much of a mensch to outright lie to you about it. So you just watch yourself, Daniel, is what I’m saying. You’re crazy about him; I can see that too. But I don’t trust you. I think you’re scared and I think, when it comes down to it, that you’ll hurt him.”
Will delivers this whole monologue without pausing or looking away once.
Fuck. When he puts it like that, I guess Rex really did only tell me about his dyslexia because of our shitty date. Was it not actually a sign that he trusted me, but just a sign that he felt sorry for me? Would he have told me otherwise? I don’t know.
And even though I should be furious at Will for what is clearly his low opinion of me, the way he told me off reminds me so much of Ginger that I’m filled with a rush of warmth and longing. Longing for Ginger, but also the briefest thought that maybe Will and I could be friends.
“Do you want to come to Rex’s for Thanksgiving?” I ask him. And I allow myself a brief moment of satisfaction as his self-possessed mask falls away and he looks genuinely surprised and, I think, a bit pleased.
“DANG, I like this Will guy—sorry, pumpkin. He’s so got your number.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“So…” Ginger pauses. “Are you going to stay? I know you didn’t want to at first. You said you were going to go on the job market again.”
“I dunno, Ginge.” I’m sure she can hear the conflict in my voice. “I mean, I’ll definitely at least look at the job list when it comes out. See if there’s anything too good to pass up. But… fuck, I really don’t know. I just never thought I’d be in this position. God, I used to pity the people who had partners they had to take into account when they were on the job market. It just makes everything harder.”
