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As he slides all the way inside me, I feel heat and fullness and a heartbeat of fear caught in my throat.

He’s so close. I’m in his house and in his bed and he’s inside me and there’s nowhere to go and, just for a second, I panic. My body tightens and Rex groans. I’m breathing a little too fast and his weight is immovable.

But then he opens his eyes and looks at me, and he’s here, right here. This isn’t a fuck in a bathroom stall. It’s not a blowjob in the alley outside the club, or jerking off one of my brothers’ straight friends at work, knowing they’ll come on my stomach and never look me in the eye again.

I squeeze my eyes shut and open them again and he’s still right there, frozen, trembling above me.

“Breathe, Daniel.”

I loop an arm around Rex’s neck and pull his mouth to mine. I kiss him—just a touch of our lips—and rock my hips into his, sliding him the rest of the way inside me. He hisses and I groan as his thickness spears me open, fills me. And then, in the space of a heartbeat, we’re one body, melted together as my channel adjusts to his size and he relaxes into me.

“Oh fuck, baby,” he says, pulling back, and I can feel his thighs shaking with the effort not to hurt me.

“Go,” I say, and pull his hips flush with mine again. We both cry out, and then I cease to exist except where we’re joined. He’s surging into me and I’m pushing back at him and everything is slickness and heat. Every time he fills me he brushes over the spot that makes my whole channel pulse with pleasure. I reach down to stroke myself, but Rex pushes my wrists to the mattress, his huge hand stroking me in time with his thrusts.

I’m whimpering and moaning as he works me, his other hand holding my wrists easily. My spine is liquid heat and my thighs are trembling. I can hear Rex groaning, but my entire concentration is focused on the exquisite pulse of pleasure that’s begun deep in my ass, radiating through me like pebbles dropped in a pond. It’s joined by a boiling heat at the base of my spine and my groin.

Rex is stroking me and with every stroke, I am closer to exploding. I pull my wrists from his grasp and grab him around the neck, needing to hold on to something.

“Don’t stop,” I gasp, and he bears down on me, his added weight pressing his erection even deeper. I cry out and his stomach brushes the tip of my cock and white-hot pleasure explodes inside me, tightening every muscle and blowing every nerve ending. The sounds coming out of me are tiny whimpers because every muscle has clenched down in orgasm. My eyes are shut so tight I see stars and I shudder as my erection keeps pulsing.

Rex is wild above me, his hands squeezing my hips as he thrusts deeply into me. I cry out, my prostate zinging a last pulse of pleasure through me, and Rex roars, his heat flooding the condom, searing me even through the barrier between us.

He collapses on top of me, careful to take his weight with his elbows, and kisses my throat, moaning.

I feel languid, like I couldn’t possibly move. Rex gently eases himself from my body and leans to drop the condom into the trash. As his back is turned to me, I feel the prickling in my ears that means I’m in danger of tearing up. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I reach out a shaky hand to touch his back, then hesitate. Maybe he doesn’t like being touched when we’re not fucking?

He rolls back over to face me and any hesitation I felt is gone as he drapes a heavy arm over my stomach and kisses the side of my neck. His breath is hot on my neck as his fingers draw absent designs in the puddle of my come. I’m a little gross and sticky. Rex must feel my stomach tense because he takes his hand away.

I ease over the side of the bed, biting my lip when my sore ass scrapes over the sheets. I pull my underwear on.

“I’m gonna just….” I gesture toward the door. “Can I use your bathroom?”

“Of course,” he says. His eyes are warm, but he looks a little wary.

In the bathroom, I clean up, pee, and wash my hands. When I look in the mirror to see how ridiculous my hair looks, my eyes surprise me. I look scared and uncertain and vulnerable. I look like I let my guard down. And even though Ginger has told me often enough that that’s not a bad thing, I don’t believe her. You let your guard down and people fuck with you; you let your guard down and you get hurt. That’s what I know. So what the hell am I supposed to do now?

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