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Miranda doesn’t say a word for the first thirty minutes. That’s fine by me. My emotions are whirling with fifty kinds of anger. The sting of family betrayal runs deep, cutting through every fiber of my being. Every time I had shrugged my sister’s bitchiness off, telling myself it didn’t matter because she was family? That was all just a joke.
With Houston in my rear view mirror, I punch the radio button a little harder than necessary to turn it off. Miranda looks over at me.
“That wasn’t our family,” I say, trying to think of the right words to express what I’m feeling. “Just because you’re blood related to someone doesn’t mean you have to love them.” I glance at my niece briefly before turning my attention back to the road. “You and me? We’re family. I have your back, no matter what.”
“I know, Aunt Robin,” Miranda says quietly. “Thank you.”
I shake my head because I’m not even close to being finished with what I’m trying to tell her. “It’s you and me now. It?
??s you and me and that unborn precious baby and I love both of you. I will be here for you just like Grandpa was for me. I’ll never treat you the way your mother did. Never. I will always be on your side.”
“I will always be on your side, too.”
We exchange sad smiles. I glance at the nearest mile marker and realize we still have a couple of hours to go, which sucks because all I want to do is curl up on my bed and sleep away the holiday. “I’m sorry this happened,” I say it, not just to Miranda but also to myself.
We slip into silence again, which probably isn’t good for my mental stability. Because when we’re quiet, I keep going back to that moment on my mother’s front steps and I keep replying what Maggie said to us. I think of a hundred million things I could have said or done in that situation besides running away. I can almost feel the satisfaction I would have gotten from slapping her across the face. My cell phone rings, taking me out of my daydream. I grab it from the cup holder and answer the call after checking to make sure the caller wasn’t anyone related to me.
“Hello.” My jaw hurts from how tightly I’d been clenching my teeth.
“Hey there,” Tyler says, sounding cheerful and like he’s been enjoying his holiday. Well, good for him. “Marcus texted me something about you guys coming home earlier than expected? Are you okay? Is your car running okay?”
“We’re fine.” My eyes dart to Miranda and she shrinks under my glare. “You texted Marcus?” I whisper. She bites her lip and nods. “Sorry.”
“Robin?” Tyler’s voice seems so far away but that’s probably because I can barely hear him over my annoyance.
“Yeah I’m here. And I’m fine. The car is fine and everything is fine.”
“Whoa, okay. I just wanted to check on you. Are you sure you’re okay?”
I sigh and lean my head back against the headrest. I know I shouldn’t treat him so poorly but I am so not in the mood. “I’m fine, okay? Everything is freaking fine. If you’re so worried about my safety maybe you shouldn’t call me when I’m driving.”
“I’m sorry, Robin. Have a good afternoon.”
I open my mouth but the call ends. He hung up. He hung up because I was a bitch to him and I deserved it. I shouldn’t have spoken to him that way. God, I am the worst person ever. I draw in another breath and bounce my head back against the headrest a few times. Stupid. So stupid.
I bet Elizabeth wouldn’t treat him that way.
Miranda clears her throat. I glance over at her, but whatever she wanted to say, she doesn’t want to risk it now. Her mouth closes and she turns to look out the window.
The two hours feel like an eternity, but we do make it home eventually. By then, it’s dark and I’m hungry and tired and my legs feel like jelly as I climb out of my car and walk back up the porch steps to my front door. I’m no longer angry, just—disappointed. Disappointed in my stupid family for acting the way they did, and disappointed in myself for yelling at Tyler. If he didn’t think I was too much of a drama magnet last weekend, he definitely thinks I am now.
I can’t even deny that I was a little worried that I’d find his truck in Elizabeth’s driveway tonight. But no cars are on our entire street tonight except for my own. Miranda starts making herself something to eat in the kitchen and I plop onto the bay window that looks out into the massive backyard with a lake that was once bordered with hundreds of bluebonnets, before fall took over.
The scent of Miranda’s grilled cheese makes my stomach hurt and all of my stress and self-loathing makes the walls feel as though they’re going to close in on me. I pop off the bay window and dig around the junk drawer in the kitchen, finding the flashlight. I click it on to make sure the batteries work. Miranda gives me a weird look.
“I’m going for a walk,” I say, trying to put on a smile that will convince her I haven’t gone completely crazy. “I’m not crazy.”
She smiles and flips over her sandwich in the frying pan. “I know. Just a little stressed out.”
I nod. “Exactly.”
It’s so much colder outside than it was inside, but by the time I start shivering, I’m a hundred yards away from the house and don’t feel like going back to get a jacket. Plus, in a way, I feel like I deserve to suffer for being such a jerk to Tyler. He hasn’t called me back and I haven’t called him, though my fingers ache to send him a text message. But what would I say?
Sorry I yelled at you just a couple of days after we became a couple and you didn’t do anything wrong and didn’t deserve that and now I’m sure you want to break up with me.
On second thought, that’s probably exactly what I should say.
Ugh.
