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Elizabeth’s door opens and I jump, knocking my head into the window frame. My heart thumps in my chest as I watch them talking and once again, ridiculous thoughts of going outside to say hello fill my head. Instead of making a fool of myself, I anchor my feet to the floor and peek through the curtains, craning my neck to see down our shared porch.
Tyler runs a hand through his hair as Elizabeth tells him something. He shakes his head and gives her this pitying smile. He says something back to her and she laughs, playfully slapping him on the shoulder.
It feels so wrong to be peering into their personal lives, but I can’t freaking help myself. With one last gorgeous smile and some words of advice that make him lift his eyebrows really high, Tyler grabs Elizabeth around the waist and pulls her into a hug. My legs feel like jelly and all that water I drank during my workout rumbles around in my stomach. Elizabe
th leans into him, nuzzling her pretty head right into the crook of his neck as he whispers something into her ear.
I swallow and step away from the window.
Looks like Elizabeth has moved on from her ex.
Good thing I wasn’t into Tyler.
Chapter 2
Our living room is a used baby item utopia. I shove aside a car seat with two plastic bases that snap into the bottom of it. One is supposed to stay in the backseat of my car. Or Miranda’s car, if and when she gets one. I’m still thinking I should find a cheap reliable car for her and maybe surprise her with it. She’s already six months along, and in a few months she’ll be way too pregnant to walk to the diner for work every day.
Miranda sits cross-legged in the middle of the floor, surrounded by piles of baby clothing, crib sheets and burp cloths. Marcus dropped off several trash bags of this stuff a few hours ago and Miranda’s been acting like a child on Christmas morning unpacking and sorting it all.
At six months pregnant, Miranda’s thin frame is starting to look really adorable with that ever-growing baby bump. I’m overjoyed for her day off work this week. Finally I won’t be alone at home and stuck inside my own head all day. Plus Elizabeth is working so I don’t have to worry about running into Tyler on her front porch again. Speaking of, he still hasn’t called me. Not that I am even thinking about that anymore.
“Do you think we have enough friends here to throw a baby shower?” I ask as I tie the tiny shoelaces on a pair of booties that are so tiny they barely fit over my thumbs.
“I wouldn’t even have enough friends at home for that,” she replies with a sarcastic snort that makes me feel like she’s not as apathetic to the topic as she’s pretending to be.
I’m trying to stay busy here, because staying busy means not having time to think about men. I start work on the Halloween Festival tomorrow, but I’m sure there’s still plenty of free time in my days to plan a baby shower. Even if it was just me, Miranda, Sherry and Elizabeth, it could still be fun.
My chest tightens when I think of Elizabeth. I wish I could hate her, but I can’t. She’s too nice and she hasn’t done anything to wrong me. Of course Tyler would like her…he’d be stupid not to.
And I was stupid for turning him down. If I had just smiled a little more, or said something a little sweeter—something that wasn’t a reminder to him that I don’t want to date—maybe I’d still have a chance. Because, as embarrassing as it is to admit it to myself, I do want to date. I want to be loved and I want someone to love. I’m just not sure if my fear of being hurt again will allow me to let down my walls.
“Oh my god, you’re thinking about Tyler again, aren’t you?” Miranda throws a tiny pair of denim overalls with basketballs as buttons at me, hitting me right in the face. It doesn’t hurt, but it jars me out of my daydream.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes you are. God, Aunt Robin. Grow a pair of balls and go out with him already.”
“I’m pretty sure he likes Elizabeth.”
Miranda shakes her head. “He likes you.”
“You don’t know this.”
“Yes I do.” She’s so matter-of-fact I want to punch her in the face.
“What makes you think that? I told you how I saw him embracing Elizabeth right after her break up. That wasn’t just a friendly hug. That was an ‘I want to do you’ hug.”
She rolls her eyes and sorts piles of baby socks. “I see him like every day at the diner and he always asks about you. He doesn’t ask about Elizabeth. He barely even talks to her and she’s actually there most of the time.”
“Really?” I ask, followed quickly by, “Never mind. I don’t care.”
“Jesus, Aunt Robin, it’s like Stubborn is your middle name. No, it’s your first and middle name. I bet your social security number isn’t a number at all. It’s just S-T-U-B-B-O-R-N.”
Now I roll my eyes. “I guess I could text him.” I never did send that friendly text about the Halloween festival the other day. The text was typed and ready to go but after seeing them on the porch, I had deleted it. “But if he really liked me, like I thought he did, then he would be texting me.”
Miranda doesn’t have a smartass comeback for that. She lowers her head and focuses on the baby clothes in her lap. “I guess you have a point there. But maybe he’s just shy. He put himself out there and let you know how he felt. Now you should do the same.”
I take a deep breath and focus on the wood grain flooring. Deep down I know that it is stubborn to spend the rest of my life hating the idea of loving someone. I can’t stay away from the idea of dating forever. I mean, I thought I could, I maybe even wanted to, but deep down, in the part of me that refuses to stay buried, I know I don’t want to live my life alone.
