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Chapter Three
THE car was like some kind of gruesome exhibit from her darkest nightmare. Coming across it like that—incongruously displayed in the opulence of the Casino‘s grand salon like some kind of obscene trophy—made Kate feel faint with horror.
She had to get away. People were pressing around her, trying to get closer to look at the lump of twisted metal, their avid faces blurring into one as Kate struggled to push past. The music was loud enough to make the hot air pulse, and the room seemed to tilt and spin so that she couldn‘t remember which door she‘d come through.
Looking around wildly, she stifled a whimper of panic. Whichever way she turned she seemed to be hemmed in by people—swigging champagne, tossing manes of glossy hair, throwing back their heads and laughing—until she felt as if she was in some grotesque circus. Then miraculously, ahead of her, she saw the tall double doors that led to the lobby. Ducking her head, she gathered up the slippery fall of her skirt and broke into a half-run.
The lobby was empty now, and the cool air from outside fanned across her burning cheeks. The heels of her torturous shoes rang on the marble floor as she headed for the exit, hoping that Lisa or Ian hadn‘t seen her and might follow and try to persuade her to come back again.
Wait.‘
The word was low and fierce. Oh, God, she was even hearing voices now.
Echoes from the past. Just as she did so often in her dreams. Any moment now she‘d wake up and find herself staring at the ceiling of her cramped bedroom back in Hartley Bridge. Please God—please let her wake up before the part where she had to watch the car he was driving hit the barrier. Turn over. Burst into flames…
‘Wait!’
In dreams things happen in slow motion, and that was how it was then.
Strong fingers closed around her wrist and she was being pulled back, a powerful wave of shock jolting through her body and her making her head whip round.
Her breath stopped.
He was inches away from her, his face darker, harder, leaner and even more terrifyingly perfect than she remembered. But it was his eyes that made her poor battered heart turn over as they burned into hers with laser-like intensity.
Her lips parted to speak but no sound came out.
And then…
And then his mouth was on hers, his fingers biting into her shoulders as he gripped her, and kissed her, and she kissed him back with all the pain and loneliness and desperate longing of the last four years. Showers of incredulous joy burst inside her head and spread through her whole body. She felt weak with relief, with joy, as their mouths devoured each other, brutal and ruthless, their tongues probing and fighting, their teeth clashing.
Distantly she was aware of the music coming to a thundering climax, and the eruption of applause—which suddenly got louder as the door behind them opened.
Cristiano?‘
The voice was sharp and impatient, and Cristiano was lifting his head, pulling away from her, and the real world was rushing back in, in a blur of bright light and noise. He let go of her shoulders abruptly.
Kate staggered backwards, her hands flying to her mouth, which pulsed and throbbed, covering the incredulous smile that she couldn‘t suppress. A beautiful and exotic-looking girl she remembered from Monaco as Cristiano‘s PA, and whom she had seen coming and going from the hospital, was standing in the doorway. Her slanting, cat-like eyes flickered over Kate before going back to Cristiano.
Silvio is about to make his speech.‘
‘Va bene,’ he said tersely. I‘ll be there in a minute.‘
The girl stared at him for a second, as if she wanted to say more, but then she turned and disappeared with a disdainful flick of her black shiny hair. The noise from the crowded room was shut off suddenly as the door closed behind her.
Kate was trembling violently with shock in the aftermath of that kiss, and with a sort of wild, excited anticipation, unable to take in the fact that the moment she‘d waited for all these years was finally here.
He was here.
Her gaze travelled wonderingly over him, as if trying to make her dazzled mind believe what she was seeing. She had only ever seen him in racing overalls or jeans and a T-shirt before, but the black, perfectly tailored dinner jacket added a whole new dimension of sexiness to his racing driver‘s physique, making his shoulders look wider and stronger, his hips narrower. Or maybe they were narrower, she thought with a wrench of desire and compassion. He had lost weight since the accident. The realisation made her want to wrap her arms around him and…
Slowly he turned back to face her. There was a curious stillness about him.
In the golden light of the chandeliers his face looked unusually pale.
Mi dispiace. I shouldn‘t have done that.‘
His voice was toneless. Kate felt a pinprick of icy fear at the base of her spine. She shook her head, twisting her hands together to stop herself from reaching out to him.
It‘s OK.‘
He smiled—a chilling echo of the lazy, sexy, delicious smile she remembered so well.
Not really. I‘m afraid I mistook you for someone else. I apologise…‘
The fear blossomed and spread through her, as if it was being injected into her veins. She felt her own smile freeze on her face—a rictus grin of horror. Her whole body suddenly seemed to be made of stone, and it was all she could do to turn her face away so he wouldn‘t see the desolation and utter humiliation there.
Kate. It‘s Kate.‘
Her voice was a cracked whisper. She had to leave. Now. Before everything she had ever imagined in her worst-case scenario paled into insignificance.
He nodded curtly, taking a step backwards in the direction of the doors, giving her the benefit of his heartbreaking, ironic half-smile. Kate. Forgive me for my…impulsiveness. It was a pleasure to meet you.‘
It felt as if she‘d been punched hard in the stomach. She wanted to double up and gasp for air. It had been a mistake. She‘d thought he‘d recognised her.
Remembered her. But it had been…a mistake.
He turned, his shoulders very rigid as he walked away. In a second he would open the door and go back into the crowded room and she would be alone. The moment would have passed.
We—we‘ve…met before, actually. I‘m from Clearspring Water. I interviewed you…once.‘
Oh, God. She sounded desperate. Unbalanced. Like some disturbed, obsessed fan. She wouldn‘t blame him if he alerted Security now. So to save herself the humiliation of being escorted off the premises, she gathered up her skirt and backed off a couple of steps.
He stopped.
For a moment he was absolutely still, as if turned to stone. Kate had to remind herself to keep breathing. Slowly, stiffly, he turned back to face her.
Kate Edwards.‘ His voice was soft, his tone completely neutral, but his face looked as if it had been carved from ice. You interviewed me the night before the Monaco Grand Prix four years ago.‘
Yes.‘
So he knew. He knew who she was and yet he stood there, looking at her across the cavernous space with eyes that glittered with some emotion she couldn‘t read, but which certainly wasn‘t love. Or happiness, or excitement, or relief—or any of the other things she had felt when she saw him again. Her heart was beating very hard, very fast, shaking her whole body and pounding in her head as she began to back towards the door.
I‘m glad you‘re well again. I‘m glad you‘re back—i-if that‘s what you want…‘ Her skirt twisted around her legs, slowing her down. She managed a smile, though it felt as if her face might crack. It was nice to see you again.‘
She was almost at the door. She could feel the cold night air at her back, and she turned round and covered the remaining few feet as quickly as she could in her agonising high heels. She didn‘t slow down until she had reached the door of the Hotel de Paris opposite.
It was only then that she remembered the letter in her evening bag.
Silvio‘s speech was mercifully short. As the crowd clapped and cheered, Cristiano made his way round the back of the platform to where Suki stood.
I slept with her, didn‘t I?‘
Who?‘
Suki looked up at him with deliberately blank eyes. Cristiano had to grit his teeth, steadying himself against the feeling of panic that was closing in on him.
The whole evening had taken on a kind of nightmarish quality, so that he wasn‘t sure what was real any more.
Kate Edwards,‘ he rasped. From Clearspring Water. I slept with her the night before the crash. Why didn‘t you tell me?‘
Suki‘s blank gaze slid away again and she shrugged. What does it matter?
You slept with everyone.‘
Cristiano jerked backwards, raising his hand so that for a moment Suki thought he was going to hit her. He thrust it into his hair and swore, and then swung round and began to push his way through the crowd.
Except me, she wanted to scream after him, watching his massive shoulders as he walked away, and the way people moved aside to let him through. Everyone except me.
Adrenaline burned through Cristiano‘s veins as he ran down the Casino steps. The cool air, with its whisper of pine and the sea, felt good—tasted better than the champagne he‘d been avoiding all evening—and out in the street-lit darkness the pounding inside his head was less intense. He knew that Silvio would be looking for him now, wanting him to stand in front of the two cars on the platform while the flashbulbs of hundreds of press photographers exploded all around, but he didn‘t care.
