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I never got a chance to reply to her message.
Torment punches through my body as my thoughts come at me like a fucking freight train.
The world around me is a blur; none of it is important.
None of it means anything.
Not anymore.
The pain swallows me and I spin into an abyss of misery.
Doubling over again, I wrap my arms around my body and let the sobs come. They rack my body and I allow them to take over. I allow my grief to spill out.
“Jett.” Presley’s panicked voice fills the air and I lift my head to look at her. Her hand flies to her mouth and distress clouds her features. “Oh my God… what is it? What’s happened?”
I stare at her as tears blur my vision and slide down my face. No words come and I don’t force them. The taste of them on my tongue makes me want to vomit so they’re better left discarded and unsaid.
She comes to me and wraps her arms around my body. I don’t move. I simply let her do her thing while I stare at her through my heartache.
I’m sure her touch is caring and gentle and soft, but I don’t even feel it.
I’m numb.
My worst fears have come true and I don’t want to feel anything ever again.
24
Presley
I watch Jett open the fridge from where I sit at his kitchen counter. He grabs the milk out, shuts the fridge, and then makes coffee on autopilot. Going through the motions is all he’s been doing since he was given the news of Claudia’s death yesterday. I can’t blame him, but I want him to let me in. I want him to let me be there for him. I want to be the one he leans on now.
It’s just after five in the morning, and neither of us slept much last night. Jett looks as exhausted as I know he is. Physically and emotionally.
“What are your plans today?” he asks as he puts the milk back in the fridge.
I frown. Surely he would realise I’m keeping my schedule free for him. “I’m here for you, baby. Whatever you need, I’m here.”
His gaze swings to mine as he walks back to where his coffee sits on the counter. I hate what I see in his eyes. Or what I don’t see. His eyes are empty as they stare at me. And when he replies to what I said, his voice is also hollow. “You don’t need to do that. I’m going to be busy with Mum and Dad today, going over the funeral arrangements and everything, so I imagine you’d be bored shitless. I’ll call you once we’re done and see where you are.”
His words pierce my heart a little but I keep that to myself. He’s hurting and trying desperately to cope with his loss so the least I can do is give him some space to do that. I want to tell him I’m coming with him but I don’t want to intrude on his family so I just nod to signal my agreement.
We sit in silence after that until he finishes his coffee. He rinses his mug in the sink and leaves the kitchen without a word. I contemplate following him to make sure he’s okay but immediately discount the idea.
I will give him his space.
So I stay where I am and drink the rest of my coffee, waiting for him to reappear.
Only five minutes pass before he returns. He walks to where I am sitting and places a key on the counter. Finding my gaze he says, “A key to my place.” He waits for my reply and when I nod my head, he bends his face to mine and kisses me. It’s a quick kiss with none of the passion he usually gives me and definitely none of the possessiveness his lips usually hold. I didn’t expect any of that today but still, I don’t like the lack of it.
He picks up his keys and phone that are sitting on the counter, and turns to leave. “I’ll call you,” he says over his shoulder and a minute later, he’s gone.
I’m left praying he’s going to get through this without too much of his heart shredded to pieces.
* * *
“When do you think the funeral will be?” Erin asks me later that day over a coffee.
“I don’t know. Jett’s discussing it with his family today.”
