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I blinked, willing myself not to cry again. Since our conversation yesterday, I’d hardly stopped crying. It was as if the floodgates had been opened. “I was beginning to think I’d never want you to touch me again, so to feel that, like really feel it, just from your eyes on me, it overwhelmed me for a moment.”
His eyes searched mine for a few moments before he bent his head and kissed me. His kiss was gentle at first, loving, and then his arms slid around me and his body pressed hard against mine, and his lips bruised me while he deepened the kiss. Months of being without each other were put into this kiss. His lips and his tongue told me how much he loved me and how much he’d missed me, and a mixture of relief and sorrow filled me. Relief that he still wanted me as much as he had before, and sorrow that I’d put him through this. I’d pulled away from him when all I should have been doing was clinging to him.
Sometimes in life you have to screw things up before clarity hits you. And sometimes, you hurt those you love the most in the process. If they stick around even after you do that, they’re worth fighting for. And Scott was worth fighting for.
When he ended the kiss, he rested his forehead against mine and murmured, “Thank fuck, baby. I was beginning to think I’d have to spend the rest of my life taking care of my hard-ons myself.”
I frowned as I pulled away from him. “Why would you have to do that?”
He raised his brows as if the answer was a no-brainer. “It didn’t seem like you were interested in me anymore. You’ve gotta admit -”
I cut him off. “I wouldn’t have expected you to wait around for me forever.”
“Well, I sure as fuck wasn’t gonna leave you, Harlow.” He stared at me with that intense gaze he had when he felt something deeply and I knew right down to my bones he was telling the truth.
“So you’d rather spend your whole life with me and get no sex rather than leave and find a woman who wanted it?” The idea stunned me and I struggled to wrap my head around it.
He reached out, grabbed my hand and yanked me back to him, a wild, feral look in his eyes. “I don’t want anyone but you,” he growled. “So yeah, I’d rather take care of myself and still get to lie next to you in bed at night than ever consider looking elsewhere. You need to know that, sweetheart. You need to know I’m never going anywhere.” His words were forceful and heartfelt. He stood in front of me, almost breathless, with searching eyes that told me he needed to know I’d heard him.
My face spread into a smile, one I felt from head to toe because knowing my man felt this way made me happy in a way I hadn’t felt for many dark months. “I hear you, Scott, and I love you. I know you said I didn’t need to thank you, but thank you for being such an amazing man.”
I saw the moment when my words soaked in, saw the way his shoulders eased a little and the tight set of his jaw relaxed, and was relieved to be able to lessen his burden. These days, between the club and me, he carried too much on his shoulders. I was glad to finally – finally - give him a tiny bit of relief.
He let me go and raked his gaze over me again. The way his eyes lingered and he took his time, caused need to pool in my core. I could spend hours with his eyes on me like this. Once he’d had his fill, he shoved his hand through his hair and groaned. “Fuck, it’s gonna be a long night.”
I laughed as he shook his head, turned and left the bedroom.
The darkness that had hung over me for months had lifted and a new lightness spread throughout me. I knew it would take more dark days and hard work to get through the sadness consuming me, but today, in this moment, I felt hopeful, and I was determined to cling to that.
5
Chapter Five
Madison
I surveyed my house and grinned. Christmas had taken over my home and this party was going to be amazing. Velvet had spent the day with me and helped me put the finishing touches on everything. The new Christmas tree I’d convinced J to get me looked awesome decorated with the new red and gold baubles I’d also managed to convince him to buy. They were expensive ones so I had no clue how I’d pulled it off, but the minute he’d agreed, I’d snapped them up before he could change his mind. Of course, I’d then needed matching red and gold decorations for the rest of the house, and God love him, he’d just rolled his eyes and run with it.
“What are you thinking, baby?” he asked as he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. Nuzzling my neck, he feathered kisses down my neck and along my collarbone, sending desire through my veins.
I pulled away from him and turned around to find him staring at me, confused. “You can’t do that tonight, J, because all I want to do when you do that is jump your bones.”
Grinning, he said, “I don’t see the problem with that. Feel free to jump my bones anytime you want.”
Grumbling, I said, “Not tonight. It wouldn’t look good if the host of the party kept running off to the bedroom, would it?”
“I really don’t think anyone would care, Madison. They all know you can?
??t get enough of me.”
He was playing with me; I knew that, but tonight was serious business and I needed him to know that. I moved back closer to him and placed my hand on his chest. “I’ve got plans for tonight,” I said softly. “Plans that require me to be on the ball all night, focused.”
Frowning, he asked, “What plans?”
“Nothing you need to worry about. All you need to do is not distract me, okay?”
Sighing, he said, “My beautiful wife is always trying to save the world.” He bent his face to mine and kissed me. “Just remember, you can’t save people who don’t want to be saved.”
We’d had this discussion a lot. “I know, but sometimes they just need a little push.”
