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“Now you’re the one who sounds as if you’ve given up on believing in things.”
“Not really. Marriage and romance are terrific for some people. You should have seen Em’s wedding. She and Trent are so much in love, and they’ve made such a difference to each other’s lives. I’ve seen plenty of couples in Schuyler and other places who seemed equally happy, so I’m all for the institution in general, even if I’ve decided it isn’t something I want personally.”
“Maybe you’ll find someone equally well suited.”
She lifted an eyebrow at him. “Has anyone tried that sort of argument on you? ‘Hey, Jordan, you’ll joyfully give up that happy carefree bachelor life once you find your soul mate.’ ‘Don’t be ridiculous, once you find the right person, all your doubts will vanish.’ Or how about, ‘You’ve got to be kidding, marriage and family are the most important things in life and you’ll realize that when the right woman comes along.’”
A wry smile twisted his lips. “You’re right. I’ve heard those arguments and more to push me toward an altar. But your decision still seems based in a negative experience.”
“The people we are today come from everything we’ve experienced. All that has to be taken into account in our decisions, doesn’t it?”
“Sure. Isn’t that a justification for asking about your past for the article?”
“Perhaps if it didn’t feel as though you’re steering everything in that direction. Are your parents’ problems the only reason you’re a bachelor?”
“No, I’m just happy that way.”
“Then it’s partly based on the fact you’ve had happy experiences as a bachelor, right?” she asked. “And also because your logic says it works for you.”
Jordan groaned. “You really enjoy making rational arguments, don’t you?”
“I like to understand a situation. It’s part of how I solve problems, or at least it affects how I feel about them. I don’t know if that’s true for everyone, but it helps me. All I can say is that I understand my past and I’ve learned from it, which I believe is the mature approach. But it isn’t controlling me.”
“Except it made you react against something I said.”
Nicole pursed her lips. “I could say something brutal, such as the jerk who used that line taught me that cheesy lines are a dime a dozen. But I didn’t assume you’re a jerk because of him. It simply broke the mood.”
The wind blew tendrils of hair against her cheek and he raised his hand to brush them away. Despite her words, her breathing quickened. How was she supposed to think her way through something that was primarily instinct?
* * *
JORDAN HADN’T PLANNED to kiss Nicole when he’d suggested the sail or ordered dinner. Nor had he planned on getting into a debate about how life decisions should be made. The golden light of early evening had felt like a sensual painting, perhaps leading to the kind of moment he’d cherish as an old man and mention in his memoirs. Well, something of the sort. And how cheesy would that sound to her?
He was also struck with another realization. Nicole had talked about him just observing life, keeping his distance. The last thing he wanted to turn into was one of those pseudo-intellectuals he’d sometimes met, the ones who discussed everything with a pretentious air of detachment.
Lord, he remembered one columnist he’d known when he was a reporter. Ken hadn’t been syndicated in many newspapers, but he’d acted as if he was sending his wisdom down from Mount Olympus. Jordan had just gotten back from the Middle East with Syd; he’d had bruises all over, cracked ribs and a nasty cut on his leg, and Ken had pontificated on the sociological history of the conflict…without even getting it right.
That was definitely not the sort of person he wanted to become.
“You know something?” Jordan asked. “I have this sudden urge to go skinny-dipping, but I’m too grown-up and have too much of a false sense of dignity to do it. Besides, we’d probably get arrested.”
“We could inaugurate my hot tub.” She seemed surprised by her own suggestion, but straightened her shoulders with an air of not backing down.
