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“I’ll give it a miss.”
As she entered the bathroom, she called over her shoulder, “Lock the door on your way out, Nitro. I’ll see you later.”
And then the bathroom door closed behind her. And I realised that sex with Tatum might be something I pursued. A woman who fucked like she did and then didn’t hang around afterwards was a woman I needed in my life.
24
Tatum
“Habit Of You” by Keith Urban
“You saw the shrink again today?” Monroe asked as she filed paperwork in her tiny office at the back of the tattoo parlour. “Didn’t you just see her?”
I sat at her desk and watched her work. She was anal about filing and keeping on top of admin. A bit like she was anal about keeping her house clean. “I saw her on Monday.” Three days ago. “We agreed I’d see her twice a week to begin with.”
She stopped and glanced at me. “How did it go today, babe?” The concern in her voice could not be mistaken.
I wrapped my arms around myself as a shiver ran through me. “It sucked. I’ve cried more this week than ever. And now I’m exhausted, which sucks, too, because I’ve got a sure thing for tonight and I’m gonna need all the energy I can muster.”
Her eyes widened. “Okay, sister, let’s run through all that. What did you talk about with her today?”
“Mum. Dad. Chris. We’re still going over shit from decades ago. I’m ready to move on, you know?”
“Yeah, but you need to get all that shit out. Your mum fucked you up big time.”
I hugged myself harder. “That’s the goddam truth. And yet, I can’t bring myself to hate her. It would be a hell of a lot easier if I could just do that.”
“What’s your shrink got to say about that?”
I sighed. “At this point she’s just doing a lot of listening. She seems to just want me to talk. Oh, and sleep and watch my diet and practice self-fucking-care.” Irritation pricked my skin. Therapy hadn’t turned out to be anything like I imagined it would be. I was ready for answers and solutions, but all my therapist seemed to be about was everything but telling me how to fix myself. I wasn’t sure therapy was actually for me.
Monroe laughed. “Tatum, I know you’re a big believer in taking action and fixing problems in a logical, efficient manner, but emotions can’t be dealt with like that. You can’t just follow a generic step-by-step plan and magically fix yourself. This is going to take time, and consistent effort. You’re going to have to be gentle on yourself.” She paused for a moment. “And you’re going to have to get on the self-care bandwagon, babe.”
“God,” I muttered. “You sound exactly like her. I think you missed your calling in life.”
She left the filing cabinet to come sit at the desk. Her eyes lit up as she said, “Now, tell me about this sure thing. And don’t leave anything out. But first, does he have a pierced dick?”
I couldn’t help it, I laughed. It broke some of the tension in my body and I unwrapped my arms from around me and relaxed back into the chair. “I love you, Roe.”
She groaned. “You kill me, girl. Tell me!”
“No, there is no pierced cock for me.”
“Ugh, why don’t all men pierce their bloody dicks? I think it could bring about world peace. Like, seriously. Could you imagine all the satisfied, happy women wandering the earth after having sex with big, fat, pierced dicks? World peace, I tell ya.”
I shook my head in laughter. My cousin and her crazy sex shit. “We really need to find you a man with a piercing, don’t we?”
“Yes. But first, you need to tell me where you found this guy and all about him. Is he a lawyer? No, wait, let me guess. You met him at the therapist’s office. He’s a doctor!”
I cringed. She would hate what I was about to tell her. “It’s Nitro.”
She sat up straight and stared at me with shock. “A fucking biker, Tatum? Are you on drugs?”
I held up my hand in defence. “Roe, it’s only sex. It’s not like I’m putting his fucking ring on my finger and traipsing through the kitchen barefoot.”
She blew out a long breath. “Okay, you’ve got a point. Sorry. I forgot for a moment it’s you we’re talking about. You of the one-night stands and zero commitment. So long as you stick to that, though. Don’t go letting him boss you around.”
“No bossing around, I promise.”
