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No fucking way would he win against me. Not anymore.
36
Tatum
“Home” by Phillip Phillips
I rifled through Nitro’s drawers looking for a T-shirt. Anxiety
riddled me because I was running late for work. He’d woken me just after five to have sex and then we’d both fallen back asleep. When I’d woken up again, it was nearly eight. It was not a good day to be late for work. Billy had me scheduled in for a meeting with his lawyer to go over the game plan for a case coming up, and I had less than an hour to get home, get dressed and get to that meeting.
“Nitro!” I called out. “Where are all your damn shirts?”
“In my drawer,” he yelled from the bathroom, his tone irritated.
I slammed the drawer shut. “Don’t you take that tone with me,” I snapped, bending over to snatch up my panties that lay on the floor. If only I’d insisted on him taking me home last night instead of giving in to his demand for me to stay at his house. He’d been on edge after the run-in with his uncle, and I’d sensed his need to protect, so I agreed to stay over.
As I stood, he appeared in the doorway, a shitty look on his face. Jerking his chin at the wardrobe, he said, “Did you check in there?” Still with the tone.
Taking a deep breath, I said, “I know you’re angry about your uncle and all, but don’t bring that mood to me. All I asked was where your shirts were.”
He scrubbed his hand over his face and blew out a long breath. Without saying another word, he walked to the wardrobe, rummaged around in it and found me a shirt. Passing it to me, he said, “Here.” And then—“You almost ready?”
I decided it really would be best if I just ignored him that day. At least until he got his head together. Throwing the shirt on, I nodded and grabbed my stuff off the bed. “Yeah.”
We were almost out the front door when Renee ran in, breathless. “Sorry, I’m late!”
Nitro halted and I almost ran into him. “What for?” he asked.
She gave him a confused look. “Ah, for my driving lesson. The one you promised to give me before school this morning.”
“Fuck,” he muttered. “I can’t do it this morning. I’m sorry, I forgot.”
“Shit,” I apologised, joining their conversation. “Sorry, Renee, it’s my fault. I need him to drive me home so I can get to work on time.”
She waved me off, but her disappointment with Nitro remained. “Can you do it after school, then?”
“I wish I could, but I’ve got club stuff on all day.” I could hear, clear as day, his regret, but Renee wasn’t taking it in.
“How am I supposed to clock up the hours you want me to if no one will take me driving? Mum can’t do it and she can’t afford to pay for lessons, so you’re pretty much it,” she said, staring at him with a hard expression.
“I can take you,” I offered. “I can finish work early today.”
Nitro moved so he could look at both of us. “No. I’ll figure something out.” His voice was firm, leaving no room for me to misunderstand that he didn’t want me driving with his niece.
His words were like a slap in the face. “You don’t trust me to take Renee driving?”
He grimaced. “Fuck, Tatum, it’s not that—”
“Well, what is it?”
“It’s—” he started, but Renee cut him off.
“He doesn’t trust anyone else on the road, Tatum. It’s not you. But I would like to say that at some point, you’re gonna have to let me out there, Nitro, so it may as well be with someone you do trust.”
Trust.
As we stood watching each other, my breathing slowed. If anyone understood how hard it was to give trust to someone, it was me. And yet, I desperately wanted Nitro to give me his. I wouldn’t hold it against him if he wasn’t ready yet, but I realised how much I wanted it.
