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I tracked the tears falling down her cheeks before meeting her gaze again. “The tears don’t fucking suit you, Jen. And they sure as hell won’t make me change my mind. You should know that by now.”
Her face twisted into an angry scowl as she scrubbed her tears away. “I can’t fucking believe you! Five years ago, I cheated on you and you hardly blinked an eye. But for this you never want to see me again?”
I rubbed my hand over my face. Rehashing the past wasn’t something I saw any point in, but she was forcing me there. “We both know why you cheated.”
She moved her face closer to mine. The crazed glint in her eyes gave me a clear indication that this conversation wasn’t going to end anywhere good. “Go on, King, tell me why I cheated. I want to hear the words from your lips.”
If she were anyone else, pushing me like this, I’d put a fucking knife to her throat. My guilt over the shit I’d put her through stopped me from doing that. Instead, I worked hard to keep my temper in check. That, and the fact there was a child’s life at stake here. “Jen,” I cautioned her, my voice a low rumble. “Step the fuck back and think about what you say to me before you fucking say it.”
“No. Tell me,” she pressed, playing a dangerous game she knew all too well.
We were fucking swimming in heat and a toxic level of hatred and bitterness. A lethal combination. I took a deep breath as I did my best to ignore the way my clothes clung to my body. It was suffocating, but nowhere near as suffocating as Jen’s insistence to dredge this crap up. “You do not want to go down this path. Not with me. Not tonight.” With that, I stepped away from her and turned to make my way back to the bottle of rum sitting on the kitchen counter.
“You don’t want to talk about your precious Ivy? Of course you don’t. You never do, because you fucked her up more than you fucked me up, and you never want to think about that, do you?”
Her words were like venom spilling all over the place, infecting everything they touched. Unfortunately, they were the trigger that unleashed my anger in waves that could never be contained.
“There’s a lot of fucking things I never wanna think about, but that shit? I think about it every fucking day of my life,” I bellowed as I spun around and stalked back her way. With one swift motion, I had her pinned to the wall again. She recoiled as my fury thundered out of me. “I can’t fucking escape it, because it’s buried so fucking deep inside of me that I couldn’t rid myself of it even if I tried. You think I didn’t love you, but you have no clue what love is. You don’t know what it looks like, tastes like or smells like, and you sure as fuck don’t understand how to give it. So don’t fucking come in here and throw accusations around that you have no business even thinking about.”
Wild energy engulfed us as we each dealt with the situation in our own way. My breaths came hard and fast while I watched and waited for her response.
“I hate you,” she spat. “I hate that you still don’t see me for everything I am and for everything I could give you. I hate you for thinking I don’t love you, when all I ever fucking wanted was to love you. I was a naïve teenager when you dragged me into your world, and I fucking adored you. We could have had the world, King, but no, you were so fucking hung up on
her. You couldn’t see straight because of her, and you still can’t. Well, fuck you. I don’t fucking want you anymore. I deserve better than you.”
“I fucking see you, Jen. And I don’t like what I see. And I sure as fuck don’t like what I now know about you.”
Everything about her screamed hatred, from her ugly glare to the hard set of her shoulders. But for one quick moment, disappointment flashed across her face as my words dealt a blow. “I thought that you might be able to dig deep and find a way to forgive me. But no, you’ve proven once again what a cold and heartless bastard you really are. I made a mistake, King. A fucking mistake that I wish I could go back and change.”
“That’s the thing about mistakes, Jen. You can’t go back, and you can’t undo them.” I sucked in a long breath. “And the thing I’ve learnt is to never fucking forgive them.” Turning, I strode to the counter, grabbed the bottle of rum and threw over my shoulder, “Don’t ever fucking mention us getting back together again because that shit is never going to happen.” Without a backwards glance, I exited the kitchen and then the house. The murderous energy consuming me demanded release, and I knew I had to get the fuck out of there before the blinding rage took over and I did something I had no control over.
* * *
***
* * *
“I’m not sure why you think coming to my home so late at night is a good thing,” Kree muttered after she opened her front door to me an hour later.
“It fucking beats me, too. But you calm me,” I said as I ignored the scowl she gave me and entered her house.
“Yeah, well maybe you could text me first. That way I could have your favourite chair and a drink ready for you by the time you arrive,” she grumbled sarcastically, following me into her kitchen.
Facing her, I held up the bottle of rum I’d brought with me. “No need, I brought my own,” I threw back, waiting for her comeback. If there was one thing I’d learnt about Kree on my four visits to her place over the last couple of weeks it was that she was fast and liked to give as good as she got. It was probably the reason why I kept coming back—she was a breath of fucking fresh air.
Lifting her brows, she said, “So thoughtful. I’ll find you a glass before I get your chair ready, shall I?”
Moving to the cupboard where I knew she kept her glasses, I said, “Sit. I can pour my own damn drink, and besides, you look like hell, woman. Like you could do with a drink, too.”
“Just what every woman wants to hear, King.”
I poured our drinks while watching her take a seat at the table. Narrowing my eyes at her, I said, “Are you fucking eating? You look like skin and bones.”
She sat cross-legged on her seat and scooped her hair into a messy bun while hitting me with a dirty look. Everything about those moves only accentuated how thin she was. “You know, just because you gave me some money doesn’t mean you can show up here any time you want. It also doesn’t mean you should feel encouraged to comment on my weight or my looks or any part of my life.”
I screwed the cap back on the rum bottle and passed her drink over. I took a long sip of mine and eyed her over the rim of the glass. “The cash is long forgotten, Kree. My concern for you is not. Do you need more money?”
“God no!” Her eyes widened as the words flew out of her mouth. She then downed half her drink, pulling a face as it burned. “Fuck,” she muttered, staring at the drink like she was remembering something. When her eyes found mine again, she said, “I’d forgotten how fucking awful rum is.”
