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Tightening my grip on the glass of rum I held to my mouth, I drained the last drop of alcohol as I watched Jen make her way towards me. The anger that had worked its way deep into my bones over her betrayal flared like fucking fireworks—loud, bright and fucking overwhelming. But then, this dance of anger and forgiveness wasn’t new to us. Throughout the five years we’d been together, we’d fucking danced that tango almost daily. It had fuelled our relationship. Until it didn’t, and we were left with wounds we’d never recover from, and a whole lot of fucking regret.
“You finally came home,” she murmured as she inched closer to me.
I dropped my gaze to watch her close the distance between us, knowing her next move before she even made it. To most people, Jen was an unpredictable mess of chaos and bad decisions, but not to me. Probably because I lived and breathed chaos myself.
Pressing my hand against her stomach to stop her, I clenched my jaw and bit out, “You’re not gonna like what I have to say.”
She didn’t surprise me when she ignored my warning. Pushing my hand away from her stomach, she took the last step she needed to ensure our bodies touched. When she responded to what I’d said, her voice held a smoky promise. “It wasn’t what you said that kept me around for five years, King. It was always what you did that held me captive.”
My eyes closed for a moment while I waited for her to take hold of my dick. This was all classic Jen. On the other hand, me allowing her to make her move was not my signature style. But then, this whole fucking situation was unlike any I’d ever been in before. And it was fucking with my head in ways I barely fucking comprehended.
Her warm breath fanned across my cheek as she moved her mouth to whisper in my ear while she slid her hand into my jeans. “You can tell me to leave all you like, or try to kick me out, but we both know that you and I have something special. Something that you’re powerless to walk away fr—”
Rage swam in my eyes as I squeezed my hand around her throat and pushed her face away from mine. My breaths pumped furiously from me, and we stood staring at each other in silence, her eyes wide with shock. “What we fucking have, Jen, is something as far as fucking possible from special as you can get.”
She attempted to pry my fingers from her throat, her efforts growing desperate when she realised I had no intention of loosening my grip. Sucking in the little breath I granted her, she begged, “King!”
Our relationship flashed through my mind, just like it had for the past few days while I’d contemplated the path forward. Her actions and disloyalty had carved the kind of hole in me that could never be patched or filled or fucking healed. This wasn’t something that could ever be fixed. In one night, she’d managed to wipe five years worth of trust and love.
I walked her backwards and shoved her against the wall, finally letting her throat go. Ignoring her gasps for breath, I said, “I came home to tell you that you can stay here for the rest of your pregnancy if you need to. After the baby is born, you get your shit together and find your feet, and then I want you the fuck out of here and out of my life.”
The way her body froze told me she hadn’t expected that. Her strangled words confirmed it. “After everything we’ve been through, that’s how you’re going to end this?”
I tracked the tears falling down her cheeks before meeting her gaze again. “The tears don’t fucking suit you, Jen. And they sure as hell won’t make me change my mind. You should know that by now.”
Her face twisted into an angry scowl as she scrubbed her tears away. “I can’t fucking believe you! Five years ago, I cheated on you and you hardly blinked an eye. But for this you never want to see me again?”
I rubbed my hand over my face. Rehashing the past wasn’t something I saw any point in, but she was forcing me there. “We both know why you cheated.”
She moved her face closer to mine. The crazed glint in her eyes gave me a clear indication that this conversation wasn’t going to end anywhere good. “Go on, King, tell me why I cheated. I want to hear the words from your lips.”
If she were anyone else, pushing me like this, I’d put a fucking knife to her throat. My guilt over the shit I’d put her through stopped me from doing that. Instead, I worked hard to keep my temper in check. That, and the fact there was a child’s life at stake here. “Jen,” I cautioned her, my voice a low rumble. “Step the fuck back and think about what you say to me before you fucking say it.”
“No. Tell me,” she pressed, playing a dangerous game she knew all too well.
We were fucking swimming in heat and a toxic level of hatred and bitterness. A lethal combination. I took a deep breath as I did my best to ignore the way my clothes clung to my body. It was suffocating, but nowhere near as suffocating as Jen’s insistence to dredge this crap up. “You do not want to go down this path. Not with me. Not tonight.” With that, I stepped away from her and turned to make my way back to the bottle of rum sitting on the kitchen counter.
“You don’t want to talk about your precious Ivy? Of course you don’t. You never do, because you fucked her up more than you fucked me up, and you never want to think about that, do you?”
Her words were like venom spilling all over the place, infecting everything they touched. Unfortunately, they were the trigger that unleashed my anger in waves that could never be contained.
“There’s a lot of fucking things I never wanna think about, but that shit? I think about it every fucking day of my life,” I bellowed as
I spun around and stalked back her way. With one swift motion, I had her pinned to the wall again. She recoiled as my fury thundered out of me. “I can’t fucking escape it, because it’s buried so fucking deep inside of me that I couldn’t rid myself of it even if I tried. You think I didn’t love you, but you have no clue what love is. You don’t know what it looks like, tastes like or smells like, and you sure as fuck don’t understand how to give it. So don’t fucking come in here and throw accusations around that you have no business even thinking about.”
Wild energy engulfed us as we each dealt with the situation in our own way. My breaths came hard and fast while I watched and waited for her response.
“I hate you,” she spat. “I hate that you still don’t see me for everything I am and for everything I could give you. I hate you for thinking I don’t love you, when all I ever fucking wanted was to love you. I was a naïve teenager when you dragged me into your world, and I fucking adored you. We could have had the world, King, but no, you were so fucking hung up on her. You couldn’t see straight because of her, and you still can’t. Well, fuck you. I don’t fucking want you anymore. I deserve better than you.”
“I fucking see you, Jen. And I don’t like what I see. And I sure as fuck don’t like what I now know about you.”
Everything about her screamed hatred, from her ugly glare to the hard set of her shoulders. But for one quick moment, disappointment flashed across her face as my words dealt a blow. “I thought that you might be able to dig deep and find a way to forgive me. But no, you’ve proven once again what a cold and heartless bastard you really are. I made a mistake, King. A fucking mistake that I wish I could go back and change.”
“That’s the thing about mistakes, Jen. You can’t go back, and you can’t undo them.” I sucked in a long breath. “And the thing I’ve learnt is to never fucking forgive them.” Turning, I strode to the counter, grabbed the bottle of rum and threw over my shoulder, “Don’t ever fucking mention us getting back together again because that shit is never going to happen.” Without a backwards glance, I exited the kitchen and then the house. The murderous energy consuming me was demanding an out, and I knew I had to get the fuck out of there before the blinding rage took over and I did something I had no control over.
***
“I’m not sure why you think coming to my home so late at night is a good thing,” Kree muttered after she opened her front door to me an hour later.
