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“Estelle makes ‘em bossy, that’s for sure.” My heart beats a little faster as I think about Luke. Even after all these months, the pain hasn’t gone away.
“Luke asked me about you yesterday,” she says softly.
I want to beg her for every single last detail of that conversation, but I don’t. “How is he?” When I first moved, I made it a rule that we weren’t to talk about him, but over the last couple of weeks she’s been sneaking him into our conversations. Estelle has been, too.
“He’s still moody as hell. I hope you know that you leaving made my life hard. Sean still talks about you. That kid misses you something bad. But at least he has his mum kind of back in his life.”
I grip the phone harder. I miss Sean just as much. The day I left Australia, I dropped by Luke’s place to say goodbye to Sean. I couldn’t leave without doing that. It had been almost as hard as leaving Luke. I wanted to keep in touch with him, but it wouldn’t have been fair to anyone. “Do you know how Jolene is?”
“Luke doesn’t talk about her to me very much, but I asked Tyler and he said she’s doing it tough waiting for the appeal to come up. Luke takes Sean twice a week to see her and from what I know, they’re growing closer. I don’t know much more. Except that Luke and Jolene aren’t getting back together. I overheard him talking to Tyler about the divorce.”
“So they’re definitely getting a divorce?” I don’t even want to admit to myself how much I crave the answer to this question.
“Callie, it’s gone through. Luke and Jolene are divorced.”
My legs go weak and I steady myself by grabbing hold of the kitchen counter and leaning against it.
“Babe, are you still there?” she asks when I don’t say anything.
“Yeah, I’m still here.” And I feel so far a
way. I wish like anything I was back in Brisbane. Back with Luke.
“Are you okay over there? I worry about you. Talk to me and don’t leave anything out.”
Admitting when I’ve made a mistake isn’t something I do easily. I’m so damn stubborn and will keep plodding along in the direction I’ve chosen. Within two months of arriving in LA, I knew I’d screwed up. And not just because I missed Luke like crazy. “I don’t fit in here, A. I love writing, but I don’t love writing as part of a team for a TV show. And the people are all so… fake. I can’t tell who at work actually likes me for me, or whether they think I can do something for them and that’s why they like me. And don’t get me started about the coffee here. I miss Aussie coffee.”
“Oh, babe, why don’t you come home if you’re not happy?”
“I don’t want to be a quitter. Maybe it will get better.” I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince the most here.
“It’s not called quitting if you make a decision for the right reasons.”
“It’s also damn expensive to pack up and move home. Trust me, I’ve calculated it. And then I’d have to get a job and find somewhere to live… It all just feels too hard and too much.”
“Callie, stop and breathe for a moment. Everything can be sorted out. You can live with me until you get on your feet. You can even work with me in my eBay shop. My sales just keep growing and we could definitely expand it and do more if I had you working too. I can help you out for money—”
“Avery, you need your money to pay for the baby.”
“Just shut up for a minute, okay? I’ve been saving like you wouldn’t believe over the last six months and things have really turned around for me. I’ve been telling you this for months. I could help you out for a little while.”
She has been telling me this, but still, I hate the idea of taking money from my friends. “I’ll think about it.”
“I swear I will come over there myself and get you if you don’t either start loving life again or come home by yourself. Some days I can totally understand why Luke used to get so frustrated with you.”
I sag against the counter. “Did you have to mention his name again?”
“My bad.”
“It’s okay. I’ve got Harvey.”
“Oh, God, you’re back on him?”
I never stopped.
“Let’s make a pact—no more talk of men for this conversation. Talk to me about Estelle’s wedding. What are you wearing? I need to know everything so I can get ready.”
We spend the next half hour talking about everything under the sun, except for Luke or Tyler. When I hang up the phone, I curl into a ball on my bed and cry myself to sleep.
