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He nods. “I was already contemplating a change when Dad left me the bar. I think that’s why he left it to me in his will rather than to both of us—”
Paris cuts in, “I told him I didn’t want it.” She turns to me. “Dad left me his car and his bike instead. I didn’t want them either, but he insisted I should get something. Told me to sell them and put the cash towards my study, so I did.”
“Why were you contemplating a career change?” I ask Luke.
“The pay was awful for the level I was stuck at and my boss, who started out great, had begun to stifle my creativity.”
Paris cuts in again. “He was just jealous of your success with your clients. His designs were so out-dated and lacked the fresh appeal yours did.”
Luke finishes off his pancakes and shoves his plate to the side. “Well, either I had to suck it up or find a new firm to move to. I was just starting to think about all that when Dad died.”
“Do you miss it?” I ask.
He doesn’t have to think about that. “Yeah, I do. It’s why I muck about with the yard.”
Sean finishes his breakfast and says, “May I please be excused?”
“Yes, but we need to wash your hands first,” Luke says.
Before he can stand, Paris does. “I’ll do it. Leave you two to have some time alone.”
After they leave us, I reach for Luke’s hand. “You have this whole other life I know nothing of. I can’t wait to learn all about it.”
He shakes his head. “That stuff’s all in the past, Callie. I just want to focus on the future.” His voice thickens, and his eyes turn hard while he speaks. His shoulders tense, and I sense a complete mood change in him.
I take in this gorgeous man sitting in front of me. He's broken. Everything pouring out of him right now tells me that. As I watch him, I realise something. I’ve had one relationship that lasted a couple of years and I thought I knew what love was, but now I know I didn’t. Because although I’m still falling in love with Luke, what I feel for him already is more than anything I’ve ever felt in my life.
I want to spend my days making him happy.
I want to fill my time laughing with him.
I want to love him so hard that he begins to believe in life again.
But more than anything, I want to take those broken pieces and bandage him back together.
I want to swathe his wounds with love.
Squeezing his hand, I say softly. “You can’t wipe your past from your life, Luke. Good or bad, it’s gotten you to this point, and your future wouldn’t be what it could without everything that’s already happened.”
His eyes dip to look at our hands. He stares at them for a long silent minute before slowly lifting his gaze back to mine. When he speaks, his voice is as hard as his eyes. “I don’t see it that way. My life has been shredded, and I’m just the fucked-over guy who has to pick through the remnants and figure out which bits to keep and which to toss. And I can tell you now, there are a lot of bits I want nothing more to do with.”
His pain pollutes the air and snakes along my skin causing me to shiver. Life isn’t always fair, but this feels like a gross injustice. I’m lost for words, because what do you say to a man who thought he had it all only to discover his life was just a wreckage waiting to happen?
Luke ends up filling the silence when he says, “I’ve gotta head out for a few hours this morning. Thank you for looking after Sean last night. He didn’t stop talking about you this morning.”
It’s clear that he’s ready for me to leave, and while it hurts that I feel like I’m being dismissed, I try hard to remember everything he’s said to me up until this point. He’s made it more than clear he’s in this—it just might take us a little while to wade through the debris in his way.
13
Luke
“You took your time to come back,” Jolene says. Her tone is full of accusation that I ignore.
My lips press together. “I’ve been busy.”
“Too busy for your wife?” Her eyes glitter with anger. And resentment. Always that. Jolene and I exist in an acid bubble of resentment, anger and misery.
“Can we just move past this? I’m here now.”
