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Gnawing at her lip she eases herself up into a sitting position on the couch, a look of I told you so on her sweet face already.
I know she wants it to be healed completely, for me. But there’s no point pretending if it isn’t.
I offer to help her up, but she shoos away my hand and lifting herself with all her focus on her good foot she...
Collapses with a cry of pain into my arms.
“I’m sorry, Xander. I really am. I wanted it to be better. I don’t want to be something you have to deal with,” she sighs.
“You must have plenty of your own things to do,” she sniffs bitterly, trying to hold back tears of pain and disappointment, but in the end, we’re right back where we were not so long ago.
My arms around her, comforting her as she weeps. Her hands pressing into my chest now and my own straying past the unspoken boundaries of comfort.
Her tears slow but I can feel her breath quicken, and my heart hammers against my ribs.
It happens like it should, with no words, naturally. Just our feelings.
Lifting her face to mine, I gently press my lips to hers. She’s so soft, delicate.
Her mew of relief, pleasure, and a little more arousal than I expect is met with my own low sound of satisfaction.
It’s not the longest or most passionate kiss in the world, but it tells us both so much without any words.
We sit quietly for some time in each other’s arms. I just look into her wide, deep blue eyes. Aware of my own reflected in them but seeing so much more of her the deeper I look.
“I wasn’t sure you even wanted to...” she whispers and I take both her hands in one of mine.
“Oh, I’ve wanted to,” I confess. “If it wasn’t so obvious.”
“Then why didn’t you?” she asks with mock anger, stealing one of her hands back just long enough to punch my chest softly in protest.
“Because I knew when I did, I’d never want to stop,” I tell her. “That I’d want you to be mine forever.”
Her breath shivers under the weight of my words, because I mean it.
“I want you, Gillian. All of you and all the time,” I add, stroking her hands tenderly, feeling the rush of warmth in my heart as I speak now, not just in my pants.
Her cheeks flush and she looks down, unsure of what to say.
It’s a lot to take in, I guess. But I vowed to tell her the truth and here it is.
If there is true love, then it shouldn’t matter whether it blooms in one day or a year, or ten.
If it’s true then it’s eternal. And I know a little bit about the distance and size of eternity. My love for Gillian is even bigger than that, making it true for me.
I just need time to show her that, if she’ll have me.
To make it true for us both.
She’s so quiet for so long, I wonder if it is too much too soon. If maybe I am overreaching by thinking she really could be mine.
I’ve never really wanted anything before, not like this.
I can’t see my life without her in it now, and this kiss proves it.
“What is it?” I ask, not enjoying the silence.
“It’s just...” she starts but trails off, gets shy, and looks away again, confusing me all over.
“Is it because I’m older?” I offer, figuring it’s maybe easier to help her let me down gently, but also so I can understand why myself.
She shakes her head, her hands balling up under mine.
“Is there already someone else, another boy?” I probe further, but she makes a face before telling me.
“It’s just… You’ve put into words exactly what I feel. What I wanted to tell you as soon as we met. But still don’t understand how someone like you could want that from someone like me,” she manages to blurt out, looking down again, almost ashamed more than embarrassed.
Looking into her eyes, into her. I saw a lot of pain, a lot of self-loathing. But I also saw the soul and heart of an angel.
I think she has the body to match, but if she’s down on herself it’s not because of anything I think or have said.
“But I do want you, Gillian.” I remind her. “And we can go as fast or slow as you like,” I add, trying to sound convincing, but she looks up with a coy smile playing on her lips, one brow rising slightly.
One of her hands moving over to my aching tent pole and gently squeezing it as she gasps.
A daring move in her eyes, but means worlds to me to have her want me in the same way I know I want her.
“And what about this?” she reminds us both. “This seems to have a life of its own,” she adds, trying to giggle but another sound takes its place, and in seconds our mouths join again.
