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A moment away from her warmth runs like ice in my veins, slowing time and making me feel half of what I know I should be.
I scratch a note for her, sliding it under her hand after I dress, taking up the same cell the agent gave me at the police station.
I dial the code I never thought I would so soon, and the monotone voice is there straight away.
“Sixteen?”
“I need Xander One,” I say firmly, feeling my jaw tense, waiting for a reply.
Dreading the outcome if I’ve made a mistake. Only caring about Gillian now.
There’s an imperceptible click on the line.
“We know. There’s a car out front waiting.”
The line goes dead and without looking at her again, I turn my back on Gillian sleeping.
Vowing to return as soon as I can.
Stepping out onto the Patterson’s lawn, there’s a blinding flash of heat to match the sensation of my ears ringing then exploding.
Letting me know it’s done.
I’m going home for the last time.
Chapter Seventeen
Gillian
It’s the best sleep of my life after the best night of my life, and I can feel the smile still on my face long before I open my eyes.
I reach for Xander in bed, but only find an empty space and figure he’s up already.
Sighing to myself, a pleasant little ache between my legs, I almost drift back into the same dream I had all night.
Xander and I, holding hands and walking along a beach watching three moons rising over a starlit sky like nothing else I’ve seen.
I point out stars, planets, and constellations, asking him to remind me which each one’s called.
“Patterson’s,” he says with a patient smile before I point to another.
“The Patterson’s,” he repeats.
“Oooh, and that big one over there,” I ask again, tugging at his arm.
“The Patterson’s,” he repeats loudly. So loud it jolts me awake.
Fuck! The Patterson’s!
Glancing at the bedside alarm clock I groan loudly, it’s nine-fifteen and they’re due any minute.
I call out for Xander, not wanting to be rude, but it’s not a great idea for him to be here when they—
And then I see it.
The note.
A little crumpled from me rolling around on it in my sleep, but I find it.
A simple piece of yellow paper, folded with my name on one side.
I pick it up and slipping into my bathrobe I move through the house, calling for Xander again.
Making my way to the laundry to let Orion outside, I notice Xander’s car still in the driveway.
“Xander?” I call out again, a mild panic starting to rise in me.
Him being here when they get back is one thing, but if he’s not here but his car still is…
I feel a heaviness in my belly, but I know somehow everything is explained in the note I’m carrying.
With a shivering breath I move back to the bedroom, and sitting on the edge of the bed, I unfold his note.
He has excellent handwriting.
Gillian,
I didn’t know how to tell you last night that I had to go away for a while.
And not because of you or anything we’ve done.
In fact, it’s because of us I need to leave for a few days. To finish something I can’t explain right now.
I promised you I’d never leave you alone again, but this is the last time.
It hurts me to go, but please, please understand me.
I will return and we will be together again.
Xander.
P.S: Car’s in the driveway, keys are by your bed. Take it and stay at the cottage while you wait for me.
You will wait for me?
I love you.
X.
It’s not a goodbye note. It’s a wait for me I’ll be out of town for a while note.
But it still hurts.
I feel his hurt, mixed with my own already missing him.
I read it through, again and again, to make sure I’m not overreacting or reading things into it that aren’t there.
No. He’ll come back, I know he will.
Leaving his car and house should be security enough.
So why do I feel so bad?
Reading it again, I watch as some words blur and run before I realize I’m crying.
He could have told me anything, he can tell me anything.
Why would he go without saying a proper goodbye? A note doesn’t seem like him.
I remember those men, in the suits, with earpieces and it worries me. Xander can look after himself, but I can’t help the flood of thoughts that rush through my mind.
Imagining the worst in every situation. My old self. My pre-Xander self.
Orion barks outside and it brings me back to where I am, not where I imagine things to be.
Shit, they’ll be here any—
There’s a loud, staccato honking of a car horn from out front of the house and I feel sick all over again.
They’re here.
The honking continues and then I remember Xander’s car. A car so big it’s more like a boat, taking up their whole driveway.
