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“What?” I play it off, offering a smirk, but he won’t be fooled by it. He’s already seen the cracks in my armor, and I curse myself for showing some form of weakness.
“Tell me,” he says before heading to the fridge to get himself a drink, with his back to me. I watch him for a long while before turning to the kitchen window to take in the garden, which is currently being transformed into a party venue.
“Nothing.” My lie causes him to chuckle, and I can picture him shaking his head, but then he joins me at the kitchen counter, and we stand shoulder to shoulder with our beers in hand.
“I’m not stupid, and I’ve known you long enough to know something is bothering you,” he tells me easily, lifting the bottle to his lips. He takes a swallow before setting it on the counter with a soft clink.
It’s nothing new, this thing that’s been playing through my mind for the past few days. As the buildup to the party took shape, even as I left the rose on Mali’s porch, it screamed at me. Deep down, I know it’s true. I’m nothing more than a sadistic bastard. And that couldn’t be truer because my folks fucked off long before they even knew who I was.
Sighing, I take a long drink of alcohol before I turn to Damien. “I’m so fucked up,” I finally admit. “My mind doesn’t work like anyone else’s. It’s like I want the darkness, and with every day that passes, I sink deeper into that mindset.”
“We’re all a little bit fucked up, Creed,” he tells me earnestly. Most times, Damien is a serious motherfucker, but right now, he’s downright stoic. There’s no hint of a smile on his lips, no amusement dancing in his ice-blue eyes.
“You’re not.”
“You think so?” he questions, the corner of his mouth tilting as his gaze flicks to mine. “I want to do this. I’m ready to chase a girl through the dark woods with you, and you say you’re the fucked up one? Maybe it comes with growing up in a town like this. Maybe it’s boredom.” He shrugs before picking up his drink and turning back to the window. “But maybe, just maybe, we’re all born a little fucked up.”
I look away from my best friend and out at the garden once more while considering his words. Maybe he’s right, but my soul disagrees. It’s telling me there’s another inherently broken part of me that’s hidden, and over time, it’s going to rear up, and I’m not going to be able to control it.
“Maybe,” I finally answer, only to appease Damien, but that twisting in my gut doesn’t unknot itself. It’s there, and I doubt anything can ever unwind the fear and anxiety living inside me.
We don’t talk as the staff hustle behind us. They’re rushing around to get everything ready, and I have a feeling this won’t be the last time Damien and I talk about this. Maybe one day, when I can tell him my whole story, he’ll understand. But for now, I allow my friend to believe he’s right about me, about us.
And I push all that bullshit to the back of my mind.
Time to focus on the here and now.
5
Brody
I’m dressed all in black. The outfits we chose will allow us to hide in the shadows to ensure Mali’s fearful glances as she races through the woods won’t spot us easily. With my balaclava in hand, my stomach twists in knowing. Tonight, things will change. I’ll dip into the darkness that resides within me, and I’ll give in to the monster that I’ve hidden so well since coming to Thorne Haven.
My mind focuses on what we’re doing tonight. I can’t wait to see the fear in those pretty eyes when we get Mali all alone. I take after Creed more than he can stand. I know my brother is wary of me at times, and I don’t blame him. But there are things in my past that have made me the way I am.
When I came to Thorne Haven, I was a broken kid. I didn’t know how to be around good people. Even now, I struggle when it comes to normal interactions. Perhaps my real folks broke me so bad, I’ll never heal from it.
The nightmares have stopped, but the lingering images that flit through my mind are still there—the scenes I witnessed when I was far too young to know about them. I swing my leg over my bike and start the engine. The roar of the beast between my legs settles my anxiety, and I pull out of the garage before snaking down the long driveway.
Thorne manor isn’t far, and in the dim light of the silver moon, I can see the turrets which peek through the trees. This is a ghost town, not because there aren’t any people living here, but because there are so many secrets hidden amongst the trees, and within the walls of both our homes, they haunt us daily.
