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“What did he say about your mother?”
“She was an artist.”
“Really?”
“And her father beat her. She fell in love with some kid her father didn’t approve of and he had the kid killed.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“What are you apologizing for?” he said, pushing away my sympathy.
“Because it’s hard to hear that your mother was hurt. Even if you didn’t know her.”
He set a cup of coffee in front of me and I grabbed his hand. I could feel the tension in his arm, the will to pull away, but he stood there. Letting me hold him in this way.
“He said she was born with a conscience. That she didn’t like being a Morelli.” He licked his lips and in the hush of the apartment I was sure I could hear his heartbeat. “When I was young and the gangs where I lived were taking notice of me because I was quick and strong and I was trying to resist them, I thought…it was stupid, but I thought, if my ma was watching, I’d make her proud. Keep my nose clean. Stay out of trouble, like.”
“Ronan,” I whispered, knowing where he was going. “You were a kid. All alone.”
“And I’m a man now, aren’t I? And my ma if she’s looking down, she’s far from proud, Poppy. She’d be ashamed of me, because I’m just like them.”
“You’re nothing like them.”
He gave me a pitying look and pulled his hand away.
“What happened with Caroline?” he asked. Back to business. “Tell me everything she said.”
“She doesn’t know what he was doing for the Morellis.”
“Bryant said he was doing sensitive work. Expensive.”
“What does that mean?”
“Blackmail? Money laundering? Bribing other politicians. Could be anything.”
“Okay…so, what do we do?”
He looked at me a long time. Too long.
“What aren’t you telling me?” I asked.
“Nothing.”
“Why are you lying?” He stepped away and I stood up, following. “Ronan, you’re scaring me. And I’m so tired of being scared.”
“Bryant said he’d forget the money the Senator owed him, and he’d forget not getting whatever it was his money paid for—”
“If?”
“If I worked for him.”
Oh my god, Caroline was right. I gripped his hand like I could keep him through my meager strength.
“How much money?”
“Billions.”
I sat back down, reeling. With everything the senator left me, even if I sold all the houses, I couldn’t pay that back.
“You can’t work for them, Ronan.”
“I’m not planning on it.”
I took a deep breath and turned to look at that stupid bankers box on the table. There had to be something in that box. Proof? Evidence?
Behind me, I heard the front door open and Ronan was standing there shrugging into a jacket. “What are you doing?” I cried.
“I have to go out.”
“Ronan—”
“Trust me, Poppy.”
I did not want to. I wanted to scream at him to tell me what he was doing, but I knew that would get me absolutely nowhere.
“Okay,” I said.
“I’ll be back within the hour.”
“Ronan?” He popped his head out from behind the door. “Caroline also said she put the bounty on you to remind you who you belong to.”
“Sounds like her.”
“I said you belong to me.”
* * *
After Ronan left I sat down on the couch and took the lid off the box and almost immediately fell asleep. Between jet lag, the orgasms, and the emotional overload of the past day, I was useless.
I woke up when there was a noise at the front door.
For a moment I was disoriented. The apartment was dark. Quiet.
Then the noise again.
There were twenty armed guards between me and any Morelli who might want to get in that door—but my heart still skipped a beat. The reality of my life right now was that there might be bad guys on the other side of that door. Or if not on the other side of that door, waiting for me when I walked out of the building. When I went to visit my sister. When I went to buy tampons at the drugstore, coffee on the corner. And I might not ever feel completely safe again.
I hadn’t thought of it, having lived my life with fear for a long time. But the fear the senator gave me was different. It was small and hidden. Something I could cover up with smiles and foundation galas. How would I get used to this new fear?
Ronan will show me, I thought, trying to be comforted by the thought. The lock flipped. Another one.
It had to be Ronan. I knew that in my brain, but it was still such a relief when the door opened and he was revealed in dark dress pants and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His eyes were dark and he looked impossibly tired.
“You all right?” he asked me.
“Fine. You just—”
“Let me in, you fucking asshole.” There was a familiar voice behind Ronan and my heart leaped into my throat. I was running towards the door before I was even conscious of it. Zilla shoved past him and we collided into each other’s arms.
